Wednesday, February 06, 2008
More Thoughts on Hubbies and Romance...
I was talking with my dh today about the subject of romance. He reminded me that it awakens romantic feelings in him when I am happy.
I reflected on how true it is. I can think of times when I thought I looked a mess, but I was cheerful and we were having fun, and it really attracted my husband. On the other times, there have been some times when I inadvertently squelched romance by indulging in negative attitudes.
I think most men are attracted to warm smiles, bright eyes, sunny ways, and a joyful attitude. This truth extends even beyond romance. I think we need people in our lives whose attitude is generally faithful, calm, and encouraging.
That's not to say that we must always be happy-go-lucky. Nor, should we try to act as if we have it all under control all of the time. As we go through life, we will face real problems, real trials, and real temptations. If we care about others, we will also weep with those who are in heartbreaking situations. We want to keep that tender-hearted side that is able to mourn when mourning is appropriate.
In fact, facing and overcoming hardship together can bond the hearts of a husband and wife deeply. The key is to maintain faith and hope in suffering, rather than giving way to despair.
However, some women -- myself at times -- allow ourselves to be needlessly burdened. We fret, or we fume, or we allow discontent to creep into our lives, and we forget to count our blessings.
Other joy and romance killers are holding on to past wrongs, allowing oneself to become cynical or bitter, nagging, and focusing on the faults of others. It also hurts our husbands when we become so bogged down with the daily things of life that we completely lose our childlike sense of play.
Some women have an easier time maintaining a cheerful outlook than others do. Sometimes, this is a matter of inborn temperament; sometimes a result of past experiences; sometimes a result of current hardships; sometimes even a result of physical pain. No matter where we are on this scale, however, we can make progress toward a more joyful attitude. Paul was a man who suffered greatly, yet he showed us by his example how to be joyful in suffering.
Proverbs 5 talks to men about sexual purity. In it, it admonishes them to "Rejoice in the wife of your youth, as a loving hind and a graceful doe; Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love."
Even though this was written to men and asks them to regard us this way by faith, I aspire to really be more and more the kind of wife my husband can rejoice in. A side benefit is that having this attitude is a positive example for our children, as well. And, just as the chorus in the Song of Songs rejoiced the love of the husband and wife, other people also benefit when they see in us a joyful love for our husbands.