Sprucing up the Love nest -- Day 2

Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant; also our couch is green. The beams of our house are cedars, and our rafters are firs. I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valley.  Song of Solomon 1:16-17

She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Proverbs 31

My dressing table arrived and is all put together (picture to come)!  Somehow, the style of the table makes the rest of my old arrangement look junky by comparison.  So, I'm on the lookout for some thrift store or otherwise inexpensive shelves to hold a little bit of my stuff, plus some books.


I love the style of this room by Lucienne. Of course, I don't have twin beds, but a king sized bed.  And, it's not a guest room, the keeping of which is totally different than that of a master suite.  But, we do have some yellow in our bedroom, which I would like to play down.  We have a quilt made by my husband's mother for me with yellow, violet, and a touch of green in it; she chose those colors because she knows that I love the color yellow.  We have enjoyed the quilt for many years now and still want to keep it.  However, I'd like to de-emphasize yellow for a bit and pick up some other colors.  I think the room in the picture is a very subtle, restful take on yellow.  I don't know exactly what I'll come up with, but this gives me an image to work with.  

 


I talked in my last blog about how easy it is to let your own bedroom be the last place in the home that you decorate.  It's also easy to let it be the catchall for folded laundry that needs to be put away and other items.  Or, at least it is for me. So, I am being inspired today by poetic images from the Bible regarding the love between a wife and her husband and also the potential beauty of one's most intimate space.

The verse from Song of Solomon, according to various commentaries, could refer to a romantic outdoor spot, a sweet country home rather than a palace, or the freshness and vitality of the couple's physical relationship. 

Enjoy!

Sprucing up the love nest...Day I

Carina Comfort Set -- Bed, Bath, and Beyond

Why  is it that it's so easy to neglect our bedrooms and master baths?  After all, that is either our personal intimate space or the intimate space that we share with a beloved husband.  Along with the kitchen, it forms the "nest" in our home.  We begin and end our days in our bedroom.  It's where the romance in our marriages either thrives or dies.  Peace and loveliness in this oh-so-important "nest" goes a long way to making our days sweeter.  

I have this image in my head of having a calm and gentle heart which translates into how I keep the heart of my house.  Some times, I attain something close to this goal.  At other times, I let it become the staging ground for laundry that is folded and not put away, for packages that need to go here or there, for cleaning materials that could be put out of sight, and for an array of cosmetics that could be ordered.

I'm determined this summer to beautify my love nest on a tiny budget.  Yes, I am an empty nester, so any of my young readers might be thinking, "Why does it matter at your old age if the bedroom is a romantic, soothing, relaxing place or not?"  The answer is; you're never too old to want the place you share with your husband to be inviting. :)  Also, the older you get, the better it feels to have a tidy, lovely place in which to re-charge not only your marriage, but your physical health and your spirits.

I have some chronic ailments which slow me down.  It's just when I'm at my most fatigued that I am tempted to clean the public areas of my home, the areas that visitors will see, yet skimp on my bedroom.  Ironically, it's at those times that I most desire to be able to curl up and recover in a clean and comforting environment. In view of that, I've decided to reinforce my routines for keeping the bedroom neat.

Along those lines, here are a few things I've learned in 32 years of marriage:

1)  Your definition of a hot love nest might be different from your husband's, and vice versa.   In fact, your husband may not care very much about a romantic setting as long as there's no clutter and you've got a smile on your face. Try to incorporate both his tastes and yours in your room so that the space is appealing to you both.  Update things as both of your tastes evolve over the years.  
2)  Try your hardest to maintain your room as a place for sleep, romance, and prayer.  Try to find other spaces for work, hobbies, working on your finances, TV, etc. If you live in a one bedroom apartment and must use your bedroom for many purposes, find ways to attractively hide your activities away so that your room will be a restful place.  Catch some 70's re-runs and notice how Mary Tyler More always pulled a screen down to hide her kitchen after she finished cleaning it.  She also made a ritual of pulling out her hideaway bed and neatening it every morning.   Her character was single, but it's not a bad example for married women, too.
3) You will get behind at times.  This is especially true if you are a mother with young children.  That's ok.  Just get back on track as soon as you can.  It doesn't have to be perfect.  Just be consistent in your efforts to keep things neat and sweet.
4)  Teach your children to respect your bedroom.  (And, show some respect for their personal spaces, as well).  Teach them how to knock if they need you.
5)  If you are the mother of young children, remember that the time when they will grow up and start their own adult lives is closer than you think it is.  The transition to an empty nest is much easier if you make consistent investments in your marriage.  Doing what you can when you can to keep your bedroom lovely is one way to show your husband that you love and value him.

I've been totally inspired by this blogger's creative and inexpensive bedroom makeover!  It makes me want to take a beach vacation with my dear hubby, aka the Professor.  :) 

Do you have any bedroom projects going on this summer?  Do post a link and some photos! 

Enjoy!

The Merry Rose Reads : The Charlatan's Boy by Jonathan Rogers

I received a review copy of The Charlatan's Boy by Jonathan Rogers from Blogging for Books (WaterBrook Multnomah Press).  I was intrigued by the name, the cover, and the premise, and I looked forward to reading it.  It had a charming fantasy plot hook, as well as quirky characters and an innocent tone.   I enjoyed it, but wish I could say that I enjoyed it more. 

The story centers around Grady, an orphan, and the medicine showman, Floyd, who takes him in.  As the pair travel about their country of Corenwald, Floyd exploits Grady as a way of providing for himself and for the boy.  The two use Grady's physical unattractiveness to promote him first as one of the scary swamp people, the Feechees and, later, when people don't believe in the Feechees anymore, as the ugliest boy in the world. All the while, Grady suffers from not knowing exactly who he is or where he came from.  Grady's plot arc revolves around the question of his true identity and the need to find home and acceptance. 

So far, so good.  That plot hook certainly whetted my interest.   For some reason that I can't put my finger on, I felt that the plot didn't live up to its potential.  For me, the book lagged in several places.  Also, I felt that the fictional setting pulled from too many influences.  It felt like an odd mix of Georgia (my home state), the old American west, and Cornwall in England.  I do think all of those influences could unite in a fantasy world.  In this book, however, some of the details conjured up one setting in my mind and other details, another, and I found it hard to stay oriented in the author's intended world.  For me, the setting kept getting in the way of the characters and of the plot.

I am a grandmother who still enjoys reading the best of books for children and teens.  I'm not in the target audience for the book, however.  So, just because it dragged for me doesn't mean that a young child, particularly a boy, might not think it's a thrilling read.

I've noticed that the author has written a trilogy that some reviewers seem to enjoy more than the Charlatan's Boy.  I thought enough of the Charlatan's Boy to take a chance on reading the trilogy.  I do think that the author has talent and creativity, and I can easily imagine that he either already has or will pen a treasure of a book.  For me, the Charlatan's Boy is close, but not quite it. 

Just a note:  The book does deal with questions of belonging and identity and somewhat with faith, but not in a particularly Christian framework.  It also deals with the theme of a person's value not being dependent on his outward appearance, which is an important subject in today's culture.  I think the author was trying to hint at Christian spirituality without being overt. If so, it seems to me that he overshot the mark, moving right past subtlety to hard-to-find. I don't think that means that the Charlatan's Boy isn't worth a read.  I mention this only because buyers might see the Multnomah label and might expect the book to be more evocative of Biblical themes than it is.  

Enjoy!

Attic Treasures and The Dressing Table

When I was a little girl playing among attic treasures (except that they were in a garage), I found a beautiful cover that had been on my mother's kidney shaped dressing table but no longer worked with her bedroom decor.  It had pale pinks in it, if I remember correctly.  I wish I knew what happened to that cover.

Mom eventually abandoned the kidney shaped dressing table in favor of a newer set up, and it, too, moved to the area of old treasures.  Eventually, it ended up in their attic and remained their until long after she died.  One year, I enjoyed "shopping" in my father's attic, which by then contained not only things he no longer used, but several items from his late sister -- who had been a good ten years older than my father.  He was delighted to have someone use these items, especially since it freed up his space.

My mother had classic tastes.  She would never, ever have described herself as glamorous, but she was very beautiful and she had that kind of classic, all-American glamor that I associate with women who came of age in the 40's.  That fit very nicely with my Dad's classic tastes.

My paternal aunt and I, on the other hand, share some random frou-frou, rococo gene.  Her frilly tastes were always neatly presented.  I lean towards SHABBY chic, despite my best efforts to do away with the shabby and leave the chic.  I often spot things I think are pretty for the home and say to myself, "Here's a new direction for you to go in."  Inevitably, the item or look I have just seen will be labeled French provincial, even though I don't always see the French connection at first. 

During my year of shopping in my dad's attic, I snatched up my mother's dressing table and sewed up a cover out of a yellow sheet, some yellow gingham, and some lace trim.  I didn't attach it correctly to the swing arm, so I eventually wore out the swing arm.  The cover is ratty after 11 or so years of use, as well.

I've ordered a new dressing table and hope to create a new little sanctuary in the corner of our master bedroom.  This time, I have chosen something decidedly English -- note the spindle legs versus curved legs.  It's still just a touch frou-frou, though, and I intended on frou-frouing it up. :)   Here's a picture of the table:

 

What do you think?

Do you have any suggestions for how I might decorate my new space?  I'd love to hear from you, my lovely readers.

Enjoy!

5 ways to pray throughout the day...

Two Girls Praying...Munier 1850

In the Bible, particularly in the life of Jesus and in the Psalms, we see the value of daily times reading God's word and praying.  We also see examples of getting away from it all in order to have even more focused time with the Lord.  Finally, as when Nehemiah petitioned God before conversing with King Artaxerxes (Nehemiah 2:4), we see the value of sending up short prayers throughout the day.   This helps us express our dependence on the Lord.

We can, of course, become so busy that we forget to talk to our Lord about the events of our day.  There are several things we can do to become more prayerful.  Here are five that have helped me:

1) Take every opportunity to praise the Lord.   The Psalms and other scriptures are full of prayers that begin with blessing God's name.  Reading and memorizing these will help us develop the habit of praise, as well.  We must also train our hearts to take notice of the good things that God pours into our laps and to respond in gratitude.  Even things that we don't enjoy -- such as a long meeting or scrubbing a kitchen floor -- can be an opportunity to thank God for having a job or for having a kitchen to scrub.  There are many in the world who have neither.   We can rejoice that we have the strength to do our work, for many do not have that, either.  We can also always rejoice in what Jesus has done for us.

Jewish culture is known for saying blessings throughout the day.  Here is a Jewish blessing for trees:  "Blessed are You - the Lord our God, King of the universe, who has withheld nothing from His world, but has created in it goodly creatures and goodly trees for the enjoyment of human beings."

2)   When you do someone's laundry or clean someone's room, pray specifically for that person.  

3) Tell yourself that you will pray every time you buckle your seat belt or every time you sit down to the computer or the like.     

4)  Make an appointment with yourself to pause at some designated time during the day for five to fifteen minutes of prayer.  This should be in addition to your regular devotionals.  Set an alarm or phone reminder.

5)  When you walk in your neighborhood or drive through your town, pray for the people you see, for the homes you see, and for matters that affect your neighborhood, your community, and the nation.  Keep a map of world countries, and pick one to pray about each day.

Most of us also say prayers of thanks at meal times.  Don't think that these prayers are of little account, but put your heart into them.  I once heard a woman say that when she was thinking of giving up on God, the habit she had learned as a child of thanking the Lord at each meal kept her heart in touch with Christ so much that her faith only grew stronger, instead.   

Enjoy!

  

Five things new mothers should know about nursing...

A Pinterest funny... 

He tends his flock like a shepherd.  He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.  Isaiah 40:11

When I was born, my mother nursed me for six weeks.  That was unusual in that day. (The year was 19 cough, cough, cough).  Medical science was in its glory, and the culture looked down on nursing as being primitive.  To be fair, 20th century medicine made some astonishing advances:  antibiotics, the eradication of smallpox, the near eradication of polio, organ transplants, and the like.  Not the least of these advances was a reduction in maternal and infant mortality, as well as improvements in recovery rates for typical childhood ailments.  Despite all of these advances, it does seem a shame that the natural process of nursing babies and having more natural childbirth got lost in the process.

By the time my children were born in the 1980's, our culture had been through the back to the earth movements of the 1960's and 70's.  The La Leche League, among other influences, had slowly induced the culture to consider mother's milk as healthy again.  Nursing was common.   So many of us in the mid to late baby boom were having children, and we all had a lot of interest in the welfare of babies and interests.  Younger doctors were coming into medicine, and they were more open to things like natural childbirth and nursing.  I may have had an unusually good experience, but I felt very supported in nursing my children.

Today, there is even more support for nursing mothers.  There are more lactation specialists around today.  There are clinics for nursing mothers.  There are newer breast pumps and other developments.

I think all of the new nursing help is wonderful.  What I do see, however, is many young mothers struggling to have the "perfect nursing experience".  That seems to work itself out in two ways.   I know young mothers who really wanted to nurse, but who hit a little problem and gave up too easily.  They assumed that a glitch meant that nursing just wouldn't work for them and their babies.  I also know young mothers who have had true medical or other barriers to nursing and who struggled for a long time with depression or even guilt for not being able to nurse.  I suppose that my peers and I experienced some of the same struggles, but I'm now looking at it from the vantage point of having grown children.
 
In light of that, I'd love for new mothers to consider the following five things:

1)  Whether or not you can nurse your baby is not the measure of whether you are a good mother or not.   Yes, nursing is not only a wonderful experience, but it has great benefits for you and for your child.  If you can't nurse for any reason or if you choose not to nurse, you may feel some pangs.  It doesn't have to be the end of the world, though. Mothering is made up of many aspects, of which nursing is just one.  If you must bottle feed, you can still give your baby great nurturing. 
2)  Relax!  I know that can be easier said than done, especially if you have fifteen different friends offering fifteen different theories about nursing baby.  However, nursing is a natural process that works best if you can stay calm about it.  Learning to peacefully trust the Lord with your nursing experience is good training for trusting Him throughout mothering!  Ask the people in your life for help in creating a peaceful environment for you and baby if you need to.
3)  Nursing and parenting experts are great, but be wary of following any one theory too slavishly.   We are fortunate to live in a time when so much parenting advice is available.  However, we can needlessly fret ourselves by trying to fit our mothering into a theory rather than enjoying a relationship with our baby.  We can also take on unnecessary baggage if we compare ourselves unduly to another mother or to an ideal from a book.  Let the Bible be your ultimate standard.  Lean on God, a few trusted friends who have done well in mothering, and common sense.  Let any other parenting tools be your servants and not your masters.
4)  There probably is a happy medium between nursing totally on demand and rigidly scheduling a young infant.  So many parenting theories divide out over this issue, and you may feel pulled between one or the other. Work out what is best for you and for your baby (and your husband!) and stay flexible as baby grows from birth to weaning.  
5)  Don't neglect God or your husband while you are nursing.   While you are nursing, your infant will be a big focus.  You won't get as many other things done as you might in other seasons of life, and that is ok.  However, you will do well to make daily investments in your relationship to God and in your marriage.  Even small investments will help you stay grounded and happy.     

Enjoy!

Elegance

"Elegance is refusal," said Coco Chanel.

If elegance can be defined as dignified gracefulness or restrained beauty of style, then we can understand what she meant.  A woman who aspires to elegance choose that which is best and leaves the rest.  That is not my strong suite, but I am working on being able to discern what is best from many options.

Elegance is not necessarily a spiritual value and the pursuit of elegance can take people far from the heart of love.  Yet, what better example do we have of elegance than the Proverbs 31 woman?  

She chooses what is best with regard to time.
She chooses what is best with regard to the raw materials she works with.
She chooses what is best in her investments.
She chooses what is best in being open-armed to the needy, for she seeks to spend her resources on people and their care.
She chooses what is best with regard to her words.
She chooses what is best with regard to fearing the Lord, rather than chasing ephemeral things that might lead to frustration.

She is a wise manager of all the resources the Lord has given her.  She is not dragged along by busyness or the crowd, but evaluates and makes wise choices.  She lives with purpose.  

She is elegant.

Enjoy!