Sometimes a romantic notion....

I came across a charming blog written by a single woman and entitled The Wife. Her blog was featured in a Los Angeles Times article called Hits and Mrs.

Here's a quote from the article:

Whatever the source of their inspiration, a small contingent of women are turning to the Internet to champion the importance of being a good wife and partner. Some of their voices are sincere and straightforward. Others toy with the notion of 1950s housewifery, viewing it through a lens that seems clouded with nostalgia. It seems doubtful any of them would endear themselves to the editors of Ms. Magazine, but they have tapped into a longing.

Whitney Friedlander, author of the article ponders the fact that a Pew Research Center study reveals that 37% of women who work outside the home do not wish to work outside the home fulltime. She says:

Maybe those women are just tired, stressed out by the complications of everyday life amid a recession. Maybe it's easier to idealize so-called simpler times (1945 to '65 anyone?) amid difficult ones. Or perhaps we should examine the role of pop culture and TV, which has a tendency to clothe domestic life in perfect little cocktail dresses.

Has Ms. Friedlander really visited the great realm of blogs devoted to home and family as a full time way of life? It would appear not. Perhaps, she simply stopped by the Disneyworld theme park in that part of the blog-o-sphere -- the area that's devoted to pretty replications of family life. Perhaps, she missed the vast neighborhood of more realistic blogs where women at home share practical advice and discuss meaningful interests over their virtual back fences.

There are any number of bloggers she could have reviewed who truly are wives and mothers at home, rather than those who simply represent a longing for domestic life. These real wives have chosen to love their husbands and children and to manage their households as their way of life and as their career. They offer well-considered support to others who have chosen likewise.

I think this corner of the blog-o-sphere is a much larger community than the author might have imagined, and it is attracting more marketing dollars than the article implies. It ballooned before the recession hit, so it was built and peopled by something other than recession woes. Its inhabitants are also women who have been living this way long enough to be well over the notion of clothing domesticity in little black dresses. These are women who have chosen their role with serious intent, and these are women who expect, with reason, to be taken seriously by society. Is that too much to ask?

Having said that, some blogs do promote a glamorized view of the domestic life -- one which is more about the style and the dream than about the strong heart of home. All of us enjoy dreaming when we are young, and sometimes, we fix our romantic dreams a little askew. When I was a little girl, shows like "That Girl" romanticized what it would be like to be single and to have a career. I was young enough to believe when I watched it that a struggling young actress really could have an expensive and fantastic wardrobe and that "That Girl" and Donald really did remain chaste for years and years.

In her article, Ms. Friedlander spends a lot of time describing The Wife. The single author of The Wife developed her philosophy of being a wife when her affluent classmates were picked up from school by their mothers, and she was shuttled to daycare. The birth of her dream is understandable, perhaps even noble. However, she also makes no bones that she is also all about Style with a capital S. She earns income by taking gigs as a personal assistant to celebrities. In other words, she performs some small parts of the role that wives of lesser income either might leave undone or might perform themselves. The vision she presents of "the wife" is definitely that of a perfect, upper class wife, under girded by possessions of irreproachable quality and beauty, all while being dutiful to the environment.

The Wife is definitely a pretty blog. Is it the most realistic picture of love and family in the virtual neighborhood? Definitely not. Let's check back with Ms. Taryn in about 10 years. If she has become a wife as she aspires to be, I'm sure we'll find that her blog has evolved into a more substantial one. In the mean time, let's let her readers enjoy it for what it is.Let's face it. Women are exposed to many a romantic notion, and some of these notions have little to do with domestic bliss. Consider a few of the Disneyworld visions that allure us:

1) There is an exciting, fulfilling career out there for every woman.

2) Your family, domestic, and office life can be as perfect as the senator's, rock star's, CEO's, etc., even though you do not have the professional or personal staff that she does.

3) You can wait until your late 30's or even later for love, marriage, and children and have no problem conceiving, no problems adjusting to marriage, and no emotional fallout from a series of sexual relationships without the commitment of marriage.

4) If you don't have children, you can keep your perfect thighs and tummy forever. Or, at least until cellulite, hormones, and too many meals grabbed on the run catch up with you anyway.

5) There is a man waiting patiently out there who will take second fiddle to your career, who will never snore, who will do housework and who will do it the way you want it done, and who will always look like Brad Pitt did ten years ago.

6) It's all about you!

Sometimes, dreams do come true, and sometimes, they don't. If you are young and starting out in life, let me give you some advice right up front. #1 might be true for you. #6 never will be. :)

Somehow, we in America have gotten ourselves tied to a dream that a woman's fulfillment consists solely of whether she has a job outside of the home or not. No matter which side of the mommy wars we are on, we fail to talk about the deeper and larger issues.

Happiness and self-fulfillment are strange things. If you chase them for themselves, you will fail to capture them -- at least in any permanent sense. If, however, you diligently seek the Lord in all that you do, and if you do all that you do in love, you will find satisfaction as a by-product.

In the 1960's through the 1980's, women began to seek careers outside of the home as a means to self-fulfillment, and they began to view home life as something empty. At the same time, many a man hit a mid-life crisis in which he threw away the very career that his wife so eagerly sought. And, while all that was going on, there was a movement of people who were dropping out of the corporate rat race and heading back to the land in order to find happiness.

Perhaps, today's mid-life career crises will see a reversal of earlier cultural trends. At any rate, the restlessness of the male and the female heart probably has little to do with what type of work the person does, but what meaning the person finds in life and work. The person who does not know his Creator or Savior, and who lacks a sense of higher purpose, cannot fill that void entirely through work or family. The person who does all work to the glory of God finds peace in all situations.

To any young woman who aspires to become a wife and mother, I commend her for choosing a noble dream. Likewise, if a young woman has it in her heart to develop a talent or a career calling, this, too, may be a noble calling.

To both, though, I would ask, is your dream founded in the most important thing of all: to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might and with all your mind and to love others as your self? Have you surrendered your dream to the one who knows you best and who has your eternal best interests at heart?

Enjoy!

Day 11 -- Gratitude in the Home

I'm thankful for Trader Joe's dark chocolate covered dried cherries! They are my new Trader Joe's passion. Isn't dark chocolate medicinal? Isn't dark chocolate one of the major good groups? Surely, it is. And, when you combine it with fruit -- well, it must be healthy. (Do they offer 12 step groups for chocoholics?)

What is your food treat of the moment?

I love this verse: For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. I Timothy 4:4 This verse is speaking of foods here. But, all things God created are good. (Yes, in our fallen world, we must deal with sin, evil, God's discipline, God's wrath, natural accidents, and so forth. However, those are the result of the fall and were not part of the world as God originally brought it forth.)

How wonderful God is that everything He creates is useful, beautiful, suitable, beneficial when properly used, meeting a need, and appropriate. Everything that proceeds from Him is good. Don't you love reading about the creation and noticing every time that God pronounces a blessing on what He has made, "And God saw that it was good." When man and woman were created, we were good, because we were created by a good God, in His image.

I also love this description of Jesus in Acts 10:38 -- "how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing goood and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him."

How exciting it is that a woman disciple of Jesus is described in similar terms to her savior, teacher, and lord: In Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha (in Greek her name is Dorcas); she was always doing good and helping the poor. Acts 9:36 I don't know how people read the Bible and miss the fact that women play a wonderful role in God's word. What better thing could be said about your life than that you, like Jesus, went about doing good!

Of course, that reminds me of the Proverbs 31 woman, of whom it is said that she does her husband good and not harm all the days of her life. The whole beautiful description of her life is of a woman whose hands were busy performing works that were good -- useful, beautiful, of quality, meeting needs, etc., including reaching out beyond her family to the needy.

What a privilege it is to have opportunities to do good every day of our lives, just as Jesus models for us. We may get weary at times. We may forget why we are doing what we do. We may even get our priorities mixed up and get off track. We may feel under-appreciated, and we may even be misunderstood, persecuted, or, at the very least, overlooked. But, God promises that we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:6). That's something to be thankful for!

Day 10 -- Thirty Days of Gratitude in the Home

If I never had to drive in it, I'd be totally grateful for snow. There was a time when I had never seen snow (at least that I remembered), and I wanted to see it so badly. You see, my parents, who were both natives of Tennessee, moved to Jacksonville, Florida when they married. At that time, it had never snowed in Jacksonville, where I was born two years later. My only chance to see snow was on trips up "north", but most of those took place in the summer.

For my friends and I, snow was more elusive than Santa Claus. My third grade class used a geography text book which described children who lived in the tropics. This description contained the sentence, "Imagine what it must be like for boys and girls to live in a place where there is no snow." At this, we all howled with laughter. A place with no snow! We couldn't imagine living in a place with snow.

Some people who visited Jacksonville said that it had only one season. This, we knew, was not true. There was a white shoe season and a season when you could not wear white shoes. White shoe season was from Easter to Labor Day. There was also a season for swimming and a season when you did not go into the ocean, and our mothers were very particular about making sure that we did not brave the waves until it was warm enough. Only tourists from Canada, Michigan, Illinois, and other foreign places swam in the dead of winter, when the temperature might be a brisk 60 or 70 degrees F and the water was c-h-i-l-l-y enough to make you catch cold.

Even then, freezing temperatures were not unknown in Florida, and we would often hear of measures that the orange growers down state were taking to protect their crops. Once in a while, the needles on the pine trees in our yard would actually have a thin coat of ice over them. That was so exciting!

One year not long after we moved away, some snow flakes fell in the pan handle, though the flakes didn't stick. Jacksonville parents loaded up their kids and drove over, hoping to get them there in time to see snow falling.

While I was a child in Jacksonville, I would look at pictures of snow and imagine that it must be like balls of cotton dropping from the sky. Yes, I decided, it must feel wondrously soft and fluffy to the hands. Oh, intellectually, I knew that snow was, of course, cold, just as the droplets of frozen water on the pine needles were cold. (What a deliciously hard winter it was when the pine needles froze!) But, could anything that looked that beautiful in pictures be anything other than soothing to the touch? Somehow, the reality of cold didn't connect with my imaginary snow.

When I was ten, we planned a trip to Denver, but this was side-lined when we moved to Atlanta instead. So, after we had settled in, we took our first of many fall and winter trips to the mountains of Georgia, Tennessee, and the Carolinas. I would eventually see my fill of snow among those peaks, but on my first excursion, we found only a little patch of old snow in a tiny nook near an overlook. My parents pulled over, and I ran out and put my hands in it. Hmm. Curiously, the snow was not soft. It wasn't fluffy. And, it was truly cold -- stingingly so.

Then, came a freeze and my first exuberant leap out onto an icy patch in the street, followed by the clutziest fall imaginable in front of my new Georgia friends. That winter, the deciduous trees looked bare and not even the roses bloomed at Christmas time! It all seemed so dreary. And, despite the relentless cold (meaning that we had an occasional freeze in a three month span), there was no snow -- no snow at all! I thought that was the hardest, longest winter ever, and I longed for the lush landscape of northern Florida.

Little did I know that Georgia, with its tall, evergreen pines, its short, mild winters, and its early, glorious springs, was hardly the home of Nanook of the North. In fact, many people would think it's a fine place to spend the colder part of the year! Fortunately, my parents put me on a plane back to Jacksonville to spend Easter with my best friend, and the sight of all that beautiful green cured me of my first winter's home sickness.

After that, I enjoyed living in a place with four distinct seasons (or rather a long summer, a short fall, a short spring, and a tolerably short winter), rather than in the semi-tropics. In Atlanta, I saw my first snow flurries, which fascinated me to no end. Then, I saw my first snow.

In Atlanta, we'd usually get an inch or two of snow every year or every other year or so, and once in a great while, we'd have a big snow. Mostly, we'd have ice storms, and the pine trees would freeze and pop like gunfire, and huge branches would drop onto power lines, and take out transformers, and we'd lose electricity and get out of school. Getting out of school was fun. What was even more fun was going up into the mountains to see deeper snowfalls. The best fun of all was when my friends and I took makeshift sleds up hills and slid down them. (Not many Southern kids of my age and set had real sleds. We had every other piece of sports equipment known to man. Many had skis and traveled in order to catch snowy slopes. Even so, very few of us had sleds.) My friends who had moved down to Atlanta from up north were sometimes take it or leave it about snow, but to those of us who had always lived in Atlanta or points further South the rarity of snow meant that it never lost its excitement. Even when we were in college, we squealed like little kids at the sight of the first wet flake.

I have since married, had children, and have lived all over the South. Wherever I have lived, a good snowfall has shut down the town. To me, a snow day represents family time with no outside expectations. School? Canceled. Doctor's appointment? Canceled. Meeting you didn't really want to go to on that day? Postponed. Snow days mean hot chocolate and pancakes. Snuggling with babies. Playing outside with older kids. Taking walks with your husband. Actually being at home and having your neighbors at home, too, rather than waving at each other as your minivans wheel by each other. Taking your time to clean house or sew or do whatever without feeling any pressure to do anything else. Taking the time to pray. Throughout my married life, I always viewed a snow day as a gift of rest given to us by God.

Snow has it's treacherous side, too. I learned that at age ten, when my mother and I were in a wreck on icy Atlanta roads. (Well, the villain, as it so often is in the South, was really ice, not snow. But, so often, our winter weather is a mixture of ice and snow.) I've never learned how to drive in snow and ice, and, judging by how many of my fellow Nashvillians drive, I'm not sure that many of my compadres have as well. Add that to the fact that Southern towns just don't have as much snow equipment as northern cities do, not to mention that we still have more rural areas near our more populated areas, and you've got a recipe for some nasty driving conditions.

I once rode across the city in a snow storm with a friend from northern New York. I suggested that we turn back. She told me that she had learned to drive in such conditions. She said that it was nothing to navigate her little car through the wintry precipitation. I yielded to her judgment. A little while later, we saw another friend of ours sliding back down a bridge. She could not get her car across the bridge. We saw that she was being helped, and we drove on. True to her word, my friend got us safely to our destination, which was both an answer to my constant prayers and a testimony to her driving skills. I was amazed at how well she handled her car on the roads. I was also happy when she delivered me safely home again.

As everyone knows, we are in a weather cycle in which the South (and much of the U.S.) has experienced more snowfall than usual in the past few years. This year, we started with snow early, and it looks like we're going to keep having more snowfalls. I already mentioned on this blog that this year marked my first bona fide white Christmas. A lot of places in the South that are now getting repeated snowfalls formerly had once snowfall in a year, if that. Life can come to a standstill once or twice a year, and we'll be none the worse for it. However, life can't stop every other week throughout a winter. If we continue in the weather pattern that we're in now, we may have to learn new ways of coping with winter storms. After all, people in Boston and Chicago, and Philadelphia and Denver trudge on, even when it snows.

Sigh.

I like my quiet snow days.

Still, learning something new is always good.

So, I remind myself, in all things, be grateful.

Enjoy!

P.S. Why is this article about snow illustrated by a poodle? I took my toy poodle out for a walk today. As usual, he loved the snow. When we got back home, however, I realized that he had huge chunks and balls of ice stuck in the fur of his legs, and I couldn't get them out. So, I gave him a warm bath, which he needed anyway. Fun is a dog with a puppy's heart!

Book Review: The Jesus Inquest by Charles Foster

Charles Foster describes "The Jesus Inquest" as the case for and against the resurrection of the Christ. Since he is a trial lawyer, he puts the resurrection on trail. He creates Character X who presents the position of unbelief and Character Y, who, with limitations, is designed to represent the Christian position. Mr. Foster attempts to keep faith out of the question and deal only with facts that could be examined in a courtroom setting. He does have some faith in the resurrection, himself, but he leaves it up to the reader to sort through the evidence and draw his or her own conclusion.

While there is interesting material in the book, I don't recommend it. Mr. Foster, himself, describes the weakness of the book in his preface. He realizes that neither the Christian nor the unbeliever will think that his or her case has been presented as strongly as it could be. A mature Christian who is familiar with apologetics might enjoy the book and learn something from it. However, I think that the book raises fruitless arguments that might needlessly shake the faith of some who are not mature enough to discern which arguments have a solid foundation and which don't.

Likewise, Foster does not establish the validity of God's word or the trustworthiness of the canon as we have it. People who are examining the evidence for the resurrection need to be presented with reasons why God and his word can be believed. Similarly, a person presenting portions of God's word must use them in context to avoid straw arguments, such as the odd misunderstandings cites surrounding I Corinthians 15.

I do believe that certain facts point to the truth of the resurrection beyond any reasonable doubt. In one sense, taking the evidence to trial would seem both logical and helpful. Certainly, verifying evidence can build our faith. However, this approach works only to a certain point. After all, court rooms run on precedence, and Jesus was the ultimate precedent breaker. He shakes up everything we have come to expect from a fallen world. His death and resurrection defeated two things that we, in our finite human experience, believe to be inevitable: sin and death.

From the prophecies of his coming to his birth to a virgin to his exit from a tomb, Jesus is like no other man we have ever met. He certainly is like no other man to ever step onto a witness stand. In ordinary circumstances, dead people do not come back to life. Jesus did. That is the point. We would do well not to endlessly examine evidence without arriving at a conclusion, but to take hold of the truth and preach it with power. (Acts 4:33)

(I received a copy of this book from Thomas Nelson's Book Sneeze program. My opinions are my own.)

Book Review: Jungle Warfare by Christopher A. Cunningham

In Jungle Warfare, Christopher Cunningham mentions that his grandfather fought in the Pacific during World War II. Upon his passing in 1988, Cunningham received his grandfather's old army issue of "The Basic Field Manual on Jungle Warfare" dated December 15, 1941. He uses that issue as a springboard for a series of 22 devotionals which he refers to as a basic field manuals for Christians in sales.

As the daughter of a World War II veteran, I know how precious family memorabilia from that era can be. I certainly understand Cunningham's desire to share gleanings from his father's field manual with the world in some fashion, especially by from it drawing parallels to the Christian's spiritual battle to be righteous in his business dealings. The resulting devotionals weren't exactly the book for me, but I do think that someone of another temperament and in another business setting might enjoy it much more than I did.

Here's my subjective view of the pros and cons of Jungle Warfare:

Cons:

1) While the Bible makes it clear that the Christian is engaged in a spiritual battle, I am not a fan of overly stretching analogies from books about physical warfare to our spiritual war. I'm also not a fan of applying principles of combat to business. 2 Corinthians 10:4 reminds us that we fight with spiritual weapons, not physical ones. In fact, Jesus teaches us to live by a different code than the world and its armies live by: we are to love our enemies; to turn the other cheek; to go the extra mile; to seek God's kingdom first; etc. In terms of physical warfare, there is evidence early Christians did not participate in war, and one could make a very good case that Christians should not take up arms today. Therefore, a field guide of jungle warfare might not make our best source of advice for drawing up our daily strategy.
2) Some of the analogies drawn from the book seem forced to fit the theme and format of the book. There is a warning about jungle ants taken from his grandfather's books. The following material in the devotional contains some good advice and a scripture, but I'm not sure that the section has a logical connection.

Pros:
1) Mr. Cunningham does avoid some of the pitfalls that associate either business or a Christian's spiritual battle with physical combat. He does include a lot of material reminding us that our spiritual goals are most important. So, even while I am not personally a fan of this particular format, I think he does a good job keeping it balanced.
2) I think this book would be particularly motivating to a man who is the main breadwinner of the family, or to a single mother who is carrying the main load. Mr. Cunningham offers helpful scriptures and thoughts for staying motivated, even when it might be easy to become discouraged.

I received this book through the Book Sneeze program. My opinions are my own.

Enjoy!

Thirty Days of Gratitude in the Home -- Day 9

Thankfulness is a house full of guests for Christmas. Thankfulness is being able to set up a skype connection with dear children who were with in-laws in other towns for Christmas. Thankfulness is being able to connect with other children by phone on the day.

Thankfulness is a really, truly white Christmas. I'm not sure if I've experienced one before or not, though I have seen snow somewhere around Christmas time. Of course, when I was proud of our quarter inch of snow, my son-in-law laughed and opened his front door to show me, via skype, the six inches of Chicago's white Christmas. But, if you have enough white to make things look like a post card, it's a bona fide white Christmas!!

But, the deepest thankfulness is the wonder that God really poured his splendor into the womb of a young virgin in Israel roughly 2,000 years ago and, thus, He brought Jesus, into the world. Immanuel, one of His names, really is God with us, come from heaven to experience a human life, only without sin.

Just thinking about that is food for hours of contemplation and prayer and thankfulness, as well as motivation to be there with others, as Jesus is with us.

Enjoy!

30 days of gratitude in the home....

A reason for gratitude is my new desk in a corner of my beloved hubby's home office. We had two different work spaces in two different rooms, which meant that we couldn't talk to each other or see each other if each of us was working. So, my dearest got the idea to clean out his office, move a desk over into a nook for me, re-position a love seat for us to enjoy sitting on to watch a movie or listen to music, and to paint. My husband is wonderful, but urges to decorate strike me much more often than they strike him. (Would I be exaggerating if I said that he might have been bitten by the decorating bug maybe twice in our thirty year marriage? Hmm...I can't remember exactly. That, in itself, should tell you something.) So, I was most thankful indeed when he came up with this wonderful suggestion.

So, while most normal people have been shopping and decorating for Christmas, we've been re-arranging and painting and decorating work spaces. I will post a photo of my desk soon.
My craft stuff is still in another area, but I do love my new writing/home management center. Most of all, I love my new office mate. :)

Now to catch up on the season...

Enjoy!

30 Days of Gratitude

W-D THANKFUL

I've been busy making memories for which to be grateful and have neglected my blog lately. I hope y'all have been having wonderful Thanksgiving times, as well.

This year, we had all our children and children-in-law at home for Thanksgiving. Since we now share holiday times with in-laws, we alternate between Thanksgiving and Christmas as being the time when we have everyone under one roof.

Thanksgiving is my daughter's favorite holiday. She actually prefers it to Christmas. So, I work hard to keep our Thanksgivings focused on a traditional Thanksgiving celebration and wait start Christmas preparations until after our family Thanksgiving celebrations are over.

It seems that Thanksgiving gets pushed aside these days. Many of our neighbors decorate for Christmas well before Thanksgiving day arrives, and I confess to letting that make me feel a little anxious that I need to be keeping up with the rush. However, our daughter's love of Thanksgiving reminds me of what a wonderful holiday that it is in its own right.

Most of us enjoy November and December because of the extra opportunities we have to spend time with our families. This is especially true if we have loved ones who live far from us and who can be brought nearer via holiday travel. Yet, as much as our culture celebrates holiday togetherness, it also recognizes the pain of family tensions that can arise during holidays. There are a number of comic movies that derive their humor from the depressing failure a particular family encounters when it falls short of holiday expectations.

Just as many holiday recipes depend on a secret ingredient for flavor and sweetness, there is a secret ingredient that can ease any holiday disappointment, lessen any family conflict, and reduce any unexpected feelings of December blues or loneliness.

That ingredient is gratitude. If every member of the family maintains a thankful spirit, everyone will enjoy each other no matter what little annoyances might arise. Family members will have no motivation to quarrel over selfish wishes. Even if things do not go as each one might wish, each person will be grateful for the important things: family, love, faith, and time together.

Gratitude is like a sweet, fragrant oil. Applied liberally, it helps the "gears" of the household turn smoothly, without catches, groans, or friction. Best of all, this essential oil is free and if the bottle should run empty, you can always fill it up again.

Enjoy!

Elizabeth

30 days of gratitude --

I was reading some gratitude challenges on another web site. On that site, one day's challenge was to write a short message of thanks for the "negative" things in your life.

I wonder if the ability to be thankful for the "negative" things in your life might not be the most mature stage of gratitude. I am not sure what the author of this series on gratitude means by the word negative. I assume that he or she means something that is or was difficult, a cause of grief or hardship, a limitation of some kind, an emotional or physical wound, or something of the like.

When I meditate on things for which I am grateful, I find it easiest to begin with those things that are obviously positive. I might even move on to a few negative things from the past, if I can look back and see that those things definitely worked for good.

What about the things -- past or present -- that are both negative and beyond my current level of understanding? How quick am I to be thankful for them? Or, at least, how quick am I to be thankful that God is working for good in those things, even if the things themselves might not be good.

The most faithful people I know are able to go through bewildering and seemingly negative things with a thankful attitude. In their suffering, they find things around them for which to be grateful. If they are ill, they are thankful for people who stand by them in their pain, for deeper intimacy with God learned during sleepless nights, and for medical advancements which make them more comfortable. If they lose their home to a weather catastrophe, they are grateful for the people who take them in and for the people who work hard to restore their original dwelling place. People who think in this way have their moments of struggle, but, all in all, they possess great peace.

I, on the other hand, let my gratitude unravel this week when pummeled by several smaller trials. These were "negative" things for which I should have been most grateful! They were actually an answer to prayer. I had prayed to see some things in my character that need to change, and the trials revealed them to me. So, while I viewed them in the moment as negatives, they were actually positives that can bless my life and, through changes in me, the lives of my family members.

Isn't that an extraordinary thing? Things which we view as negative may actually be positive tools that God uses in our lives to bless us. I'm so grateful.

Enjoy!

"The Grace of God" Andy Stanley -- Enjoyable, but I would add some caveats for the seeker of God

It's Book Sneeze Time Again! This time I'm reviewing 'The Grace of God" by Andy Stanley.

It's hard not to write a compelling book on grace, because the grace of God is such an infinitely beautiful, life-changing, and gratitude-inspiring subject in itself. Andy Stanley's look at grace is both well-written and engaging. He shows us God's grace through recounting the lives of many of the men and women in the Bible. All were changed forever when God extended grace to them. He chose Bible characters with various backgrounds, and their backgrounds correspond to the different backgrounds and types of emotional baggage that men and women of today might experience. Thus, we readers find ourselves relating to one or more characters and, thus, can grasp that God extends grace to us today -- no matter who we have been and what we have done.

Retelling Bible stories as if you were telling a story to a friend, rather than quoting them from scriptures, is in vogue in the preaching world right now, and Andy employs this method in recounting the lives of the Biblical men and women. One advantage is that this allows those of us who have read and heard these stories over and over again to read the stories with a fresh perspective. It also allows Stanley to make some speculations about what the characters might have been thinking or feeling. Plus, it gives him room to add historical background that enhances or fleshes out our understanding of the events. I do think that adds some impact to "The Grace of God". I enjoyed the author's re-tellings and learned some things about Biblical history, which I plan to research further.

However, I think the reader should be aware that Stanley is telling the stories from his point of view and is interjecting some of his own suppositions. These suppositions make some good food for thought, but can't be taken in the same light as scripture. A reader would do well to read the same stories he cites straight from the Bible and draw his or her own conclusions. Even someone who has heard these stories from childhood would do well to follow along in scripture, just as the Bereans turned to the scriptures to check to see if what Paul said was true. If the reader accepts that Stanley is retelling the stories in his own words and is making some well-educated guesses about the motivations of the persons in the stories, he or she will find much to ponder. I suggest reading the book once through first, just to be moved by the stories of God's grace and, then, going back to study for accuracy.

Also, there is a point at which Stanley includes a prayer for people who have not yet connected with God's grace in order to become Christians. Since there isn't an example of a conversion by such a prayer in the Bible or of a conversion that wasn't nurtured by a teacher of the gospel and/or by the church, this section falls sadly short of helping someone with so momentous a thing as salvation. It also leaves out the message of how God's grace so lovingly and so beautifully reaches down to us in the waters of baptism, which is something about which I'd have like to have seen Stanley include a few paragraphs.

If read with discrimination, Stanley's book makes a great addition to a library of books about grace.

I was given a copy of this book by the Book Sneeze program. My views are my own.

Enjoy!

Lincoln's Thanksgiving Proclamation

Washington, DC—October 3, 1863

The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added which are of so extraordinary a nature that they can not fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever-watchful providence of Almighty God.

In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere, except in the theater of military conflict, while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union.

Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship; the ax has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well as the iron and coal as of our precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege, and the battlefield, and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the imposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the divine purpose, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity, and union.

In testimony whereof I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the city of Washington, this 3d day of October, A.D. 1863, and of the Independence of the United States the eighty-eighth.

Abraham Lincoln -- A man who saw the light in the darkness

Did you realize that Thanksgiving was officially created as a holiday during the Civil War!? That's probably something that everyone knows, but somehow it escaped my attention. During what was our nation's darkest hour, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed that the last Thursday in November be celebrated as Thanksgiving day. (The timing was changed after his lifetime to include more shopping time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.)

I think that's significant. Don't you? In 1863, my fore parents, like most of the country, were still suffering. My great-grandfather was still either a prisoner of war in a northern prison or had just been released in a prisoner of war exchange. My great-grandmother was trying to hold the family and huge farm together in the battle-torn, spy filled, full of commandeering bands from both armies environs of middle Tennessee Tennessee. There was much sickness and suffering about. Tennessee was one of the worst hit places, but it was not the only place in which suffering was still abounding. Mothers on both sides of the Civil War were still receiving messages stating that husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons were either captured, wounded, dead, or missing. Sherman was planning his famous march to the sea, which would leave so much destruction in its path.

Abraham Lincoln delivered his proclamation at Gettysburg, which represents where the war's brutality had been carried into northern land. (This is after his famous Gettysburg speech)

In the midst of all that darkness, the amazing Lincoln wrote a proclamation of such brevity and power of word, reminding us that the God of heaven has blessed us abundantly even though we were engaging in the national folly of Civil War. He was keeping foreign nations from taking advantage of our internal weakness in order to invade us. (What if they had invaded us! Hadn't thought of that! We'd have been easy pickings.) Lincoln goes on to list the many other ways God continued to bless us in our time of quarreling, war, and -- dare I say it --our time of sin. His words humble us, convict us, and remind us that even in our most horrific hour, God's tender mercy was with us. He showed us how to have eyes to look for God's mercy even in the darkest of times. There is always, always a reason to be grateful.

I wonder, did my fore-parents, though they were in the CSA, somehow hear these words and take heart? Were the many people in the union inspired by Lincoln's words? Somehow, his address seems more powerful to me than speeches given by politicians given today. They are more the words of a statesman who appeals to eternal, bankable truths to inspire his people to courage rather than someone who makes short-term promises to try to hype people into believing some sort of position.

Well said, President Lincoln. Well said.

The actual words of his address are in the next post.

Elizabeth

Gratitude -- DAy 3

From a Fall Walk

I was out all day long yesterday, so I was happy to spend this morning indoors. I knew it would be somewhat chilly outside. So, when I dressed to take the dog for our usual mile, I pulled on a thick, warm turtleneck top.

Oops! I discovered when I stepped outside that it's not chilly. It's downright cold. It's only 45 or 49 degrees F, depending on whose weather report you believe! I should have worn a coat. Oh well, the wintry weather kept the dog and myself moving right along.

Taking a walk on a fall day with a beloved dog is an adventure in gratitude. Here are some things that struck me.

Happiness is

catching the exuberance of a dog who loves to chase scuttling leaves
pulling leaves off a cute, cuddly, apricot-cream dog
enjoying a neighbor's artful display of hay bales arranged with colorful ceramic pots of mums
enjoying all of the flowers that are still in bloom, especially the fall ones
noticing the few trees that are already beginning to look bare and are spreading their artful branches against the low clouds
watching the sun break through the soft, low clouds
noticing how soft all the colors look under the soft, low hanging clouds
feeling my blood stir in the cold air
being grateful to have a warm place to come home to on such a cold day.

Enjoy!

Day 2 -- Thirty Days of Gratitude in Home

You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing and grace before I dip the pen in the ink. ~G.K. Chesterton

Today, I began a list of 1,000 things for which I am grateful. I hope to complete it by December 1st. Take the 1,000 by December 1st challenge with me, if you like.

Have you ever thought about the fact that ingratitude is one of the sins that Paul warns will make these last days terrible? 2 Timothy 3. That's sobering to me, as I can easily focus on problems rather than blessings. Yet, ingratitude springs from ugly soil -- selfishness and pride -- and yields such piercing thorns -- faithlessness, futile thinking, complaining, lack of positive influence, and the like. Romans 1:18-25, 2 Timothy 3:1-5

As I repent of ingratitude, I remember that God has shown me immeasurable mercy. His mercy is my teacher. I have too often been sinful. I have too often been ungrateful. I have too often been ungrateful to God, while, at the same time, have been crushed that some person has failed to show appreciation to me.

Yet, Jesus teaches us "Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them
without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked." Luke 6:36

I am eternally grateful that this is how God loves me!

Enjoy!

Thirty Days of Being Thankful...

While I'm continuing to organize my home, I'm setting aside blogging about thirty days of organization in favor of thirty days of gratitude. It's November, and I just can't resist using this month to focus on thankfulness.

My personal goal for the month is to overflow with gratitude in thought, word, and action. That will take attentiveness on my part, as well as discipline.

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?" ~William A. Ward

Enjoy!

Taming the Tongue...Are you up for the Challenge?

I've been thinking a lot about words lately -- my own and those of others. Beautiful words are like exquisite music;, misspoken ones are like fingernails screeching across a chalkboard. Appropriate speech heals; abusive speech destroys.

Like many people who love to talk, I've opined when it would have been better for me to be silent. I've sent more than my share of needless syllables into the universe. Some of those have been hurtful. It may not have been my overt intention to cut someone's heart, but my inappropriate speech reflected something inconsiderate within me. Out of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Why am I so focused on words right now? As the November elections approach, there are a lot of words flying around right now. We hear about tiffs between various pundits, between pundits and their bosses, and between politicians. We hear pundits and politicians hurl insults at voters, and we hear voters hurl insults at politicians and pundits. We've hear "comedians" and other public figures state that anyone who believes in God must have a deficiency in intelligence. We see people violate the privacy of the grieving by using funerals as a platform to express political and religious statements. We listen to "news" which consists of someone in the public sphere making a "statement" of some kind, which is followed by hours and hours of people judging and analyzing the statement,which is followed by hours of people judging the words of the people who were judging the statement, and so forth, until we forget what the original statement was all about. We watched political ads that attack opposing candidates and hear analyses of these ads. Just to keep things interesting, we are fed our doses of celebrity gossip.

All of us are involved in the "public dialogue" in some way. We chat at work. We blog. We talk to spouses and children. We shoot the breeze with neighbors. We fellowship with friends at church. We vote as members or officers of organizations. Even if we keep our conversations apolitical, as I try to do, we influence others in the topics we do talk about.

Whether we talk to one person at a time or whether we broadcast to millions, our words build others up up or they tear others down. Gossip is gossip whether we dish the dirt about our neighbor or whether we cluck about the a famous celebutante. We do harm when we lash out at our spouse and we do harm when we lash out at political opponents, rather than engage in respectful dialogue. On the other hand, we encourage and influence others through positive, reasonable conversation.

Positive speech is not synonymous with sweet speech. There are times when it is necessary to speak truth, even though someone does not want to hear it, and, rarely, there are times to speak with truly righteous indignation. However, even in these times, we can do our best to communicate our respect and concern for our listener(s).

When under pressure, it's not always easy to engage in speech that both conveys one's own conviction and yet that also communicates respect for someone of an opposing view. It's also not easy to speak always in a way that inspires, rarather than in a way that brings others down. I don't think that I could withstand the constant scrutiny that public figures are under today without at least once episode of foot in mouth disease. Even in my small, private life, I've blown it enough to know how easily it is to misspeak. Yet, shouldn't we all aspire to inspire and convey conviction with respect in our communication? To that end, we will need help in taming our tongues.

So, I ask myself, what would happen if every person in the United States, myself included, paid more attention to these three perfect pieces of advice?

1) Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. James 1:19

2) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4: 29

3) If I speak in the tongues of men and angels but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging symbol....love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. it is not proud. It is not rude. it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protect, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians 13.

What do you think? What would our lives be like if we all always kept these commands in mind? Would the results be more peace in our world? More love? More respect? Of course, these three verses are from God's word -- not God's word as people imagine it in order to fit some personal or political agenda, but as He actually inspired it.

Taming the tongue isn't easy. I know that from experience. But, it's our only hope if we want to speak in ways that yield results, rather than to create more tension and turmoil. How about you? Are you up for taking the challenge for me? Are you willing to spend the next thirty days thinking about these three commands from God's word and letting them be guides for your heart and your tongue?

Enjoy!

“It is a good idea sometimes to think of the importance and dignity of our every-day duties. It keeps them from being so tiresome; besides, others are apt take us at our own valuation.”
Laura Ingalls Wilder

Let's Get Organized --
Otherwise Known as "Save This Messy Traveler"

As I mentioned in my last post, I recently found myself struggling to find things in a messy suitcase. Though I had packed in what I thought was an orderly fashion, my system of order was no match for the following:

1) During part of our trip we had no room to hang things or put things away in drawers.
2) I packed around the "core wardrobe" theory, which meant that I needed to use key wardrobe items more than once on the trip. So, even though I packed in approximate order of when I would wear outfits, it was impossible to do so completely.
3) We stayed busy (a happy busy), and I fell into bed at night without taking the time to tidy my suitcase each night.
4) My husband and I ended up re-distributing things between our two suitcases a) to make room for a very few gifts we brought back and b) to avoid a baggage charge going back. We incurred on coming down because we were one pound over the limit.
So, what could I have done to have improved things? I'll suggest a couple of ideas. If you have some tips for me, please comment, as well.

1) I could have used dividers, travel bags, packing cubes, or even pieces of cardboard to separate the layers in my suitcase. That way, when I needed to retrieve a garment from a lower layer, I could have set the top layers aside. I could have taken out the item I wanted. Then, I could have simply lifted the top layers back in. Everything would have stayed in its place.
2) Even though I was short on time, I could have found five minutes here and there tidy my suitcase and other cases. When traveling, tidying one's travel bags is the daily routine of life that tidying the kitchen and other daily chores are back home.

Some things that do work well for me:

1) Some time ago, I bought pink flannel and sewed several shoe bags. I use those to not only protect my shoes from scuffing, but also to protect my clothing from shoes. My luggage does have pockets specifically for a pair of shoes, but not enough for a second or third pair.
2) Some experts suggest rolling clothing rather than folding items. I use a combination system in which I roll some knits and fold some other things.
3) I make a packing list for each trip. I plan by the day. I consider what items of clothing I will need, what accessories, shoes, outerwear, etc. I think through what I will likely be doing each day of the trip. If I do not know what I will be doing, I pack items that can be dressed up or dressed down. Of course, I also consider climate, whether we will be outdoors or indoors, etc. I also consider the trip as whole and work each day into a core wardrobe. In that way, I can mix and match key pieces and take as few items as possible.

Happy Traveling!

Let's Get Organized...

In the midst of having fun, I met the organizing challenge that got away from me. My husband and I were presented with the opportunity to extend a necessary business journey in both time and distance in order to visit church friends living far away from us. This required packing for two continents and three climates, counting the one from which we started. For some reason, I was indecisive about what to take, but I finally came up with what I thought was a fairly minimal packing scheme. I organized it all into layers as I planned to wear items and toiletries into makeup cases and the like.

Four days into our week long trip, my scheme for organizing my clothing, accessories, and toiletries had gone away. I ended up with a jumble of things. Though I attempted to re-pack a few times, I never got it all put back together the way I had organized it.

Obviously, when we travel, we operate from a small space. Most often, we have room to do some unpacking. We can hang up items and put other items in drawers. Sometimes, we may have to literally live out of a suitcase. We do not, however, usually have as much space as we have at home.

This works in some people's favor. They thrive on the need to pare down to essentials and to keep those essentials in tight order. I'm not the world's neatest traveler, however, and this trip wasn't my finest hour in organizing. So, next time, we'll explore ways I could have avoided making a suitcase mess.

Love and Respect for a Lifetime

It is with great pleasure that I am reviewing Love and Respect for a Lifetime by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs through the Book Sneeze program. I am literally book sneezing today, as I am suffering from a late summer chest cold and am a-chooing as I type. I don't think that's what the lovely folks at Thomas Nelson had in mind when they set up this opportunity to read and share about what you've read through the blogging community. In case you are not familiar with how it does work, you select from a list of available works and are sent a free copy. You then write a review of 200 words or more, both on your own blog and on a public site. Your opinions and words are to be your own, and you may express positive or negative views as freely as you see fit.

I selected the gift book version of Love and Respect for a Lifetime. I was intrigued, because this is a meaty topic for a gift book. Yet, I found that this format is actually a great one for reinforcing the author's central topic: for men, respect is the doorway to feeling loved and for women, love (and romance) is the doorway to feeling cherished and respected. Men and women need both love and respect. However, men have a special craving for respect and women have a special craving for love.

This central point is expanded by sub-topics, written illustrations, memorable sayings, and practical tips. The material is driven home by attractive photographs and graphics. The result is a book that is somewhat deeper than the usual gift book, yet not quite as complex as a longer book might be.

I know many couples who suffer in their marriages because they fail to understand that there are basic differences in how most men and most women think and communicate. This book can help you and your spouse explore these general differences to see how they might apply to you. It can also help you determine how the two of you, in particular, think and comminicate.

This book can be used in many ways. It can be given to engaged couples, to newlyweds, as anniversary gifts. I suspect that more women than men will be excited about reading it. However, a man might enjoy thumbing through it if he is visiting in a home in which it is left on the coffee table.

Enjoy!