30 days of gratitude in the home....Day 27

I've been reading articles by "mom bloggers" in which there is a discussion of how open to be on the Internet. One school of thought says that in order to be authentic, we must blog about any and every feeling that comes into our minds -- including some very dark ones. Another school of thought says that we should exercise discretion when blogging.

Despite the fact that I've often spoken and typed with my foot in my mouth, I vote that we all exercise discretion. This old-fashioned concept is much neglected these days. I think this may be a reaction to what was perceived as "phoniness" on the part of prior generations, whose members often abhorred the thought of airing any dirty laundry in public. Some were so private that they did not discuss, even in intimate settings, problems that should have been brought to the light and fixed.

Many in my generation (I'm in the second wave of the baby boom) broke with our parents' way of thinking on this subject. Openness in all things came to be seen as the pathway to self-knowledge, healing, and happiness. Sometimes, the openness was healthy; at other times, it was simply selfish. The desire to be heard sometimes became more important than the feelings of other people.

Enter the Internet and social media, and, suddenly, we are no longer open just in our private lives, but with everyone on the planet. And, we are open not just about ourselves, but about every passing thought we have toward family members, our friends, the neighbor down the street, the person who views religion or politics differently than we do -- you name it.

Sometimes, this openness has a mean spirit about it. We cross the line from commenting about our own opinions to attacking others who see the world differently than we do. I'm saddened, for example, by hate speech I've encountered on what I thought were blogs about science, but turned out to be anti-theist blogs. Of course, that's not the only place that cruel words are found on the net. Sadly, bitter, snarky comments are all too common.

We do need a few godly friendships in which we can be absolutely open, even about the darkest, ugliest parts of ourselves. I'm grateful for having those friendships in my life. These are fellow Christians whom I can trust to listen with compassion and discretion, to pray for and with me, and to help me work things out.

In the right context, bringing things into the light is healing. I John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I don't know about you, but I am thankful for that!

Notice, however, it is our own sins we are to bring into the light. When it comes to others, we are to be discreet and kind. Proverbs 11:13 says, "He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter." Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear."

Isn't that something to be grateful for? We can build each other up and give grace to those who hear our words. Expressing words that build up, rather than tear down, requires some thought on our part, however. If we want whatever comes out of our mouths to be productive, we first have to train our hearts to be kind, to look for the good, and to be wise and discerning about what is needed in the moment. Sometimes, our words will be gentle; sometimes, strong -- but they must always be delivered with the other person's best interests in mind.

Maintaining a heart filled with thankfulness and avoiding bitterness also helps us to think clearly and, thus, instructs our speech. We are at our least rational when we brood on bitter thoughts. The words that pour forth from our minds when we feed on bitterness are twisted and damaging. On the other hand, if we are honest about situations, but meet the bad with forgiveness and hope and the good with gratitude, we are able to think and speak more clearly.

Perhaps, when we go over the line in our public communication via social media, it's because we aren't attentive to those close friendships in our life where we can receive real comfort and help. Blogging and social media are no substitute for face-to-face, real-life intimacy. They are merely wonderful supplements to our communication and should not be leaned on for more than what they are.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to hear words from others that build up. Proverbs 25:11 says, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Wise, well-timed words are great treasures.

Enjoy!

30 days of gratitude in the home -- day 26

Did you know that in the old fashioned language of flowers, the bell flower or campanula signified gratitude? So, too, did Canterbury bells, which are a form of campanula.

This photo of a bellflower comes from How Stuff Works.

Here's a plate from the Royal Worcester collection, the Language of Flowers, which depicts the common associatio of the flower agrimony with thankfulness.








I'm not sure how easy agrimony and Canterbury bells are to give as gifts in today's world, but it's a lovely thoought that there are flowers associated with the quality of gratitude. Any type of flower or potted plant would make a wonderful "thank-you" gift.

Enjoy!

30 days of gratitude in the home - Seeing as Jesus sees.

When Jesus was on the earth, he demonstrated that he does not see people as the world sees them -- by categories or by power or by what they can do for him. Instead, he sees to the heart of a person. He took time to notice and to talk with people who needed attention. He was also happy to take time out for little children.

If we are truly grateful, we will imitate Jesus' heart of seeing people deeply. We will be grateful for people. We will be grateful for opportunities to minister to people, even when those opportunities seem hard or awkward or impeding to our own agenda.

I, myself, need to grow in remembering and using people's names. When I meet someone, I can walk away and tell you their whole life story after a one-time, five- minute conversation. I am so caught up in the details of their lives. But, ask me their name, and I will often draw a blank. Yet, people's names are so important to them. I want to do better at remembering names and not just faces and details.

In writing about how Jesus really sees people in their book "Love at Last Sight", Kerry and Cris Shook conclude with this message:

"Above all, look below the surface of the people you love the most. Understand that what each of us present publicly tends to mask what's going on deep down inside. If you really want to be a good friend, a true husband or wife, or a loving brother or daughter, you'll care enough to look and listen for what someone is wrestling with underneath.

"For more than twenty years Nelson Mandela was held captive in a tiny prison cell in South Africa and was treated as if he were invisible. He was elected that country's president in 1994, just as apartheid ended. As president, he made sure to greet those who served him just as he would welcome a head of state, remembering their names and genuinely asking how they were doing. Mandela had been treated as if were invisible for so long that he never wanted anyone to feel invisible around him.

"Stop today and take a second look at the people in your path. Start with the people you're closet to. You may be surprised when you stop seeing only what you want to see and begin to view them with new eyes and a sensitive heart. Let them know they'll never be invisible to you. If you do, when you see them for the last time on earth, you'll be closer than ever before.

That last sentence gives me chills of both hope that we can really see each other through Jesus's eyes, as well as of urgency for the people God puts in my path -- especially those nearest to me.

I am so very grateful to have people in my life (and a God) who really take the time to see me, to listen to me, to rejoice with me and to sorrow with me. I am learning that this is a treasure all too rare in this world and that I must not take it for granted. Out of gratitude, I want to do the same for others.

Enjoy!

I never saw a moor,
I never saw the sea;
Yet know I how the heather looks,
And what a wave must be.

I never spoke with God,
Nor visited in heaven;
Yet certain am I of the spot
As if the chart were given.

Emily Dickenson -- as quoted on the blog Moments with Mother Culture.

Enjoy!

30 days of gratitude in the home -- day 24

A blogger wrote about being de-friended on Facebook by an old school friend. The blogger's friend resented the fact that the blogger had done nothing with her life except be an at-home wife and mother and, thus, thought she should disassociate herself from the blogger.

I find it fascinating how our cultural views of what a woman should be doing are so powerfully shaped by women, ourselves. I suspect that how women view the home is largely how society views the home.

Our society has a theory that men have put women down by not wanting them to work outside the home. Is that true? Perhaps. When I was growing up, there were a good number of men who took it as a matter of responsibility and pride to provide for the family, freeing the woman to perform her role at home. (I have to confess that I think that's a good thing). There was also a sense in the more distant past that a man and a woman worked together to build a life -- not going in separate directions but aiming toward the same goal. However, I know some young men of today who are pushing their wives to work outside the home, even though the young women want to be at home with their children. By and large, I think it's women, ourselves, who have forced a societal change in which a woman's role in the home is now disdained.

I find that it is women who present to society and to other women that being a wife and mother is of secondary importance to having a career outside of the home. Rather than respecting work traditionally done in the home as being true and valuable, as early feminists did, the newer waves of feminism view a woman's caring for her own home and her own children as being drudgery and of little use to society.

This, in my opinion, is an extension of the American idea that a person is defined by his or her paycheck. Upon meeting someone, the first question that we Americans ask is, "What do you do?", meaning what do you do for a living. This is not true in some other cultures. I think also today that our public discourse is becoming more critical and harsh in tone, perhaps because we forget that things said on the Internet affect real people.

Women are so much more powerful than we realize we are. The words we say and the way we conduct ourselves does influence society to an incredible amount. Even in cultures and times when women did not have as much legal right to be heard as we do now, they still found ways to be of influence -- if, in nothing else, through their verbal persuasion in the home and community.

As women, one beautiful thing that we can do for each other is to speak well of our roles as wives and mothers. Whether or not we have a job outside of the home, we can treat our home life and the activities we do there as being valuable. We can speak excitedly of the treasures of home as we do of exciting things in a career. If we regard our roles in the home as being of worth, then others will follow.

When we are at home, we can dress neatly and groom ourselves well. We can smile, rather than looking harried. If we are happy and secure in the home, then we will not be so easily put down if others -- even women we know -- run down what we do.

Just as with every role or career in life, being a wife and mother and keeper at home has its challenges. We need to be open and honest about those challenges with a few select friends who can help us through any rough spots. Those of us who are older need to reassure younger women when they struggle.

We need to remember that there is no work in the world that does not have its hard times; indeed, the more important and the more interesting the job, the more trials that seem to come along with it. (Whatever your political views are, don't you think President Obama has more than his share of headaches?)

Thus, it's no surprise that women who deeply care about keeping a home sometimes run into setbacks. Today, such women might also face opposition from people who don't value the home as deeply. We need to mentor and encourage each other in the ever-so vital sphere of family life, just as someone might mentor a younger woman in a business career.

A woman I know spoke of her experiences taking her children to the school bus stop. One woman started in complaining about her husband, then another, and another, and so forth until the whole conversation was centered on topping each other's stories about how dumb and oafish their husbands were. My friend felt uncomfortable. And, needless to say, this experience was a sour note in what had started out to be a sweet day. This is the kind of speech that tears down.

This is a far different thing than to ask of a trusted source, "My husband ______. I _____. What do you suggest that I do?". One attitude is simply complaining for the drama of it; the other is seeking a solution to a problem.

Are you thankful to be a wife? to be a mother? To have a roof over your head and food to cook and clothing to wear? To have the comforts of a domestic life? To have time as a wife and mother to expand your mind by stimulating conversation, reading, studying, praying, and generally enjoying life? Are you grateful to be able to show hospitality, which always brings with it great rewards of fellowship? We don't need to pretend to have perfect home lives -- no one does. We must not be fake. But, we can be discreet and wise in speech, and we can radiate gratitude rather than a sense of oppression.

The world needs more women (and men) who are enthusiastic about marriage and children and home and who speak of it with honor. As Kathy Peel, author of the Home Manager, says, you will move in and out of other careers, but you will be a home manage for life.

In one sense, we should all -- men and women -- live our lives for what will matter to us in our last earthly breaths. I've never heard of anyone who was dying think, "I should have advanced more in my career". Their thoughts are more, "What kind of person was I? How were my relationships? How did I live before God?"

That's not to put down other types of work beside the home, for work is a God-given part of life. However, those of us who choose to be keepers at home can emphasize the importance of our work in the home by maintaining a grateful attitude. Our thankfulness will communicate itself to our families and to others. Speaking with honor of the work we do will also communicate something to our own hearts, and we will find ourselves feeling more satisfied and happy.

Enjoy!

Posted this quote before, but still pondering:

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

30 days of gratitude in the home -- day 23

A common source of dismay among young women is to find that they must start out life with a lower standard of living than what they experienced under their parents' roof. They expect to begin a marriage or a career with all of the material comfort that their parents', who are farther along in life, can provide.

Similarly, young adulthood often means moving to a new place. It may take some time to learn to enjoy a new terrain, a new atmosphere, and new friends.

When my husband and I first married, we moved fourteen hours away from my parents and ten from my husband's. I am so grateful that our new church was welcoming, as that gave us an instant support system. Still, I went from living in a large home to living in a tiny apartment first, and a small rented home later. The terrain of our new home was far different than I had experienced before, even though I was well-traveled. The customs and traditions of our new home city were different, as well.

Of course, newlywed bliss cast a golden glow over all of these changes, and I felt as if we were on a great adventure together. I think it was good for us to build our marriage together and to have our first child together on our own. I grew to enjoy the beauties of the terrain around me, instead of expecting everything to look like back home. Still, there were times when my husband and I felt homesick. Within a couple of years, we moved closer to our families.

I was happy to be back nearer home and am glad that our children grew up closer to our families. Still, there is much that I appreciate about those first years in a new setting. In fact, I can probably appreciate the wonderful things about those years even more now in retrospect.

One thing that we, as parents, can do for our children is to help them be content in their early adult years and in the first years of marriage. I'm sure that my husband's and my parents missed us a lot. Yet, they did not pull on us to come home. Nor, did they say or do things to feed any homesickness on our part.

Teaching young adults to count things for which to be grateful and not to complain about the things that they lack is a great thing. I read of a woman whose married daughter was far from home. She wrote home complaining about her homesickness and about this and that.

Her mother wrote back with this familiar saying,

"Two men looked out of prison bars.
One saw mud and one saw stars."

That was a wise mother.

It is also said that in medieval France. it was the custom for a mother to give her newly married daughter one last bit of advice before she left with her groom. One mother told her daughter, "Every day of your life, find at least one thing to be happy about."

Sage advice.

Enjoy!

30 days of gratitude in the home. Day 22

Discontent is a sin that is its own punishment and makes men torment themselves; it makes the spirit sad, the body sick, and all the enjoyments sour; it is the heaviness of the heart and the rottenness of the bones. It is a sin that is its own parent. It arises not from the condition, but from the mind. As we find Paul contented in a prison, so Ahab discontent in a palace.

Matthew Henry

Book Review -- Eat your Peas, Daughter

Eat Your Peas, Daughter, is a cheerful, sweet, and lovely gift book. It has pretty illustrations and thoughtful lines of text that help you express to your daughter how much you love her. The cute design leaves some pages with white space, so I personalized the copy I am going to give my daughter by adding little messages of my own.

I think daughters of most any age would appreciate it. The prettiness of the illustrations and the simplicity of the message makes it understandable for younger daughters. However, the meaning of the messages means that older daughters -- even well grown women -- will appreciate them. It's the type of book that, if kept by the recipient, would become more meaningful with the passage of time. It could become a comforting keepsake.

I think it would be especially sweet to send to daughters who are away at college or who are newly on their own.

I received this book as a free review copy. My opinions are my own.

Thirty Days of Gratitude in the Home

We had occasion recently to drive through miles and miles and miles of wind turbines in a northern (mid-western?) state. It was a fascinating, oddly beautiful, and serendipitous treat during a long, long, long drive to our destination. The turbines were on both sides of the Interstate, so we had a sense of driving through them.

You never know what beautiful treasures you will see on a driving trip. Once, my husband and I traveled a route that took us toward a magnificent and complete double rainbow.

Long trips in the car are great times for talking at leisure, listening to music you enjoy, and contemplating the joys in life.

I'm thankful for car trips.

Enjoy!

30 days of gratitude in the home -- day 20

Thankfulness for how God has worked in your life...

I think I've miscounted somewhere, because I've been blogging about this subject since November and think I've surely done more than 20 posts already. But, if I spend a little extra time on Thanksgiving than need be, it surely won't hurt!

Have you ever done a survey of your whole life, taking note of all thew ways you've seen God working in your life? If you haven't, I highly recommended it. Seeing how God has blessed you from childhood on will surely change your view of your life. Even if you have had terrible times in the past, you will see them in a new light.

Last night, friends and I were talking about how easy it is to be kind and gracious to everyone else in the world, except for the person dearest to us -- the beloved husband of the heart. We all discovered something. It's when we are frustrated with ourselves that we often become impatient with our spouses.

After I came home, I did a little blog reading. I followed a link from The Elegant Woman to this moving article about a woman in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease. This article is especially touching to me, as my mother died of early onset Alzhiemer's, and my father is suffering from mild dementia in his very advanced years.

The article profiles Mary Ann Becklenberg, a retired social worker from Dyer, Indiana. At the age of 62, she learned she was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s Disease. Though she remained active, even to the point of becoming an Alzheimer's patient advocate, her husband, John, began to move into the role of her care giver.

It's interesting that Mary Ann pointed to the same concept that my friends and I were talking about. She writes:

My husband has become my caregiver. He is the navigator and coordinator of my day to day life. He’s rarely short with me, but I’m often short with him – because of my frustration with myself. One of the challenges is to keep humor in our lives, to laugh about the things you forget.

My message to people with Alzheimer’s is this: Be gentle with yourself. This disease requires that you lower your expectations of yourself. That’s a hard thing for most of us to do. The fear is losing yourself, knowing that you won’t bring this self to the end stage of your life.So I look to build my spirit.

I believe in a loving God, and when I’m afraid or down or angry or frustrated, I go outside, whatever the weather, and I pray, “Teach me to be gentle with myself.”

Her message doesn't apply to people with Alzheimer's disease only. If we find ourselves becoming impatient with others, rather than being grateful for them, we can check what's going on in our hearts.

Often, we will find that we are frustrated with ourselves because we know we didn't attend to some important responsibility or we are tired or we have loaded our day with unrealistic expectations or another person's needs are getting in the way of our mental "to-do" list. At such moments, it's wise to take our personal irritations to the Lord to find help and grace. Then, we can remind ourselves to be grateful for this person in our lives.

That doesn't always mean that we will not need to speak to another person about some issue at hand. But, it does mean that we will free ourselves up to talk in a gentle and respectful manner, rather than snapping or whining or nagging or putting the other person down.

A little gratitude and kindness goes a long way in soothing our own spirits and in helping us treat other people with respect.

Enjoy!

30 days of gratitude in home -- Day 19

Gratitude helps us to savor our days. A busy day seems long. When we look back over a string of busy days, however, we wonder where they went. A season, a year, or even a decade can fly by, and we are amazed at how the time passes.

If we focus on gratitude, we will notice things about each day that are special. We will realize how meaningful our days really are.

This is especially important for the keeper at home, particularly if she is a mother with young children. Sometimes, we will wonder how it was that we were occupied every moment of the day, yet don't have an answer for that question, "So, just what did you do all day?" We may have rocked toddlers with skin knees, changed umpteen baby diapers, washed a load or two of clothes, cooked meals, and, viola, it's bedtime. Taking time to savor beautiful moments in our busy days will give us happy thoughts to look back on as we close our eyes to sleep. It will also implant happy memories in our brains, so that we treasure each wonderful stage of life.

When the empty nest comes and time flies even faster and faster to us, a habit of gratitude truly serves us well. Instead of looking back on time that was squandered in haste, we will be able to look back on time that was treasured. We will have the satisfaction of having spent earlier years well. Yet, we will also be able to move forward, because we will still be offering thanks. We will enjoy our new stage of life, just as much as we enjoyed our earlier days.

Enjoy!

Do you have a signature scent for your home?

For me, it's easy to know what other people's homes smell like. But, it's harder to detect the scent of my own home, or, at least, it's hard to know what other people sense when they come into my home. Of course, I know if there's something malodorous that needs to be detected and gotten rid of. And, I smell the immediate odors of various cleaning products that I use and the foods that I cook. But, I'm not sure what is our home's indefinable something that every home has about it.

I do enjoy signature things, such as scents and colors and the like. I'm sort of outgrowing the signature perfume that I have worn most of my adult life and am in the search for a new one. Now, I'm also on the hunt for my home's signature scent.

My husband loves citrusy scents. He enjoys the citrus scent left by the products his office cleaning woman uses. I enjoy floral scents or florientals, but I think I shall try to move towards a more citrusy-signature scent for the home. That is, I think so.

Until I read Brocante Home's article about your home's signature scent, I had not thought about the fact I probably do have many competing scents in my home. I use a variety of cleaning products that appeal to me for different reasons. I also have different candles and potpourris. Sticking to one overall scent is probably a good idea in order to keep various scents from becoming overwhelming.

So, help me out. What products do you use that leave a special scent or scents in your home? I'm open for ideas.

Enjoy!

Book Review: The Dragon and the Turtle Go on Safari by Donia K. Paul and Evangeline Denmark.

I love children's books, especially ones with lovely illustrations. The Dragon and the Turtle Go on Safari is well-illustrated. Both boys and girls might find the pictures accompanying the text to be appealing.

The story, itself, is a nice one. It's not entirely original, as it makes use of a common plot line: Children (or their imaginary anthropomorphic equivalents) who spend a night in their backyard and are frightened when, in the darkness, they mistake normal events for something more sinister. But, the authors do put their own spin on the tale, as the characters are pretending to be explorers in Africa. At the end, they provide a scripture and ideas about how children can help each other to be brave.

To me, the major weakness of the book is that the main characters try to speak as if they were African explorers. The language sometimes comes across as stilted and is probably over the head of children on the younger side of the book's suggested age range. Parents can probably compensate for this by explaining the words or by simply telling the story in their own, less stilted manner.

The Dragon and the Turtle Go on Safari could be a nice addition to a large home library of children's books. I'm not sure that I would include it if I could have only a few books for the children in my life. To me, it's not a must-have.

Enjoy!

30 days of thanksgiving in the home.

This quote from Teddy Roosevelt is one of my favorites:

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

From "Citizenship in a Republic,"Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

It's easy to spot weaknesses; harder to look for and recognize the good; harder still to live -- really live -- with faith, courage, and thankfulness. Gratitude notices and fosters the achievements of others. Gratitude brings out our own best selves. Let us be grateful.

Enjoy!

The Freedom of Repentance...

The awareness of sin and the chance the Lord gives us to repent might seem to some to be an odd occasion for thankfulness. In our culture, we try to avoid talking or thinking about sin, because we do not want to feel guilty or to be seen as someone who causes someone else to feel guilty. It's true that false guilt or unresolved guilt is damaging. But, healthy sorrow for our transmissions that leads to a change of heart and life is freeing, rather than burdening.

I ponder the words of Karl Menninger, an American psychiatrist who once tried to eliminate sin and repentance from our psychological vocabulary. He later reversed himself and wrote a book called, "Whatever Became of Sin". In it, he argues that we must be realistic: evil does surround us. But, he say, when no one is guilty, no moral questions are asked. Lacking a resolution to the problem of sin within us and within our world, we sink into despair. He notes that America's moral slide cannot be turned around unless we accept personal responsibility for evil and repent of it through action.

Praise God, who saves us from the power of sin and makes repentance possible.

30 days of gratitude in the home --

Being grateful for the home, itself...

Our family of churches sponsor clinics, health and education programs, and a teaching hospital in many poor areas. Near one such clinic, people live in tiny shacks built on a precarious slope. The women keep these dirt-floor shacks neatly and show hospitality. It's a rare luxury there to have even one pretty decorate item in the home.

We've all seen news coverage of natural disaster areas, such as Haiti and New Orleans, in which many people are suddenly displaced from their homes. In our family of churches, there is a church in Haiti. The members there made their way to the building and small grounds surrounding it and made sure that everyone was ok. Those who had lost their homes took shelter there, with each other, and built each other up in faith.

Even in the midst of affluence, a home can be lost. Some friends of mine watched helplessly as their neighbors' house burned to the ground. Their neighbors got out safely, but only with the night-clothes on their back and shoes hastily thrown on without socks on their feet. The community has pitched in to help this family. Likely, they have insurance and will be able to replace their house and furniture. Yet, this does serve as a reminder that we can't place our sense of home and our security in material possessions, which can be burned, stolen, damaged, or otherwise destroyed.

There are women in this world who do not have access to enough clean water for their families to drink, for their clothes to be washed, and for their homes to be cleaned well. There are others who struggle to put food on the table. Some live in refugee tents. Others live in shelters set up for women and children who are fleeing abusive situations.

True Christians are blessed by God to have a citizenship in heaven and a Savior who is coming back to take us to his home. Phil. 3:20. As the old song says, "This world is not my home; I'm just a-passing through."

Sometimes, when striving to be more excellent in my stewardship of our home, I can find myself building my own little kingdom in order to bring glory and comfort to me. What happens when I slip into that? I become complacent, which is all together a different thing than godly contentment. Or, I become frustrated when things don't go as I envisioned and my complacency is interrupted by life. Yet, when I repent of this self-focus and surrender all that I do to the glory of God, then I see things more clearly.

If our hearts are in heaven (Luke 12:34), then we carry home with us. No matter what circumstances we find ourselves in, we can be content. No matter where we are, we can love God and love others. We can share the gospel with others, so that they, too, will find their true and eternal home in heaven. We also give sacrificially to others, for we know that accumulating possessions here on earth isn't the sum of our life. (Luke 12:15)

Sometimes, I lie in bed on a rainy or cold night and think how grateful I am that God has given me a warm place to sleep. If I were to think about it more, I'd be grateful all day for things like clean, running water, indoor plumbing, household appliances, cars, dishes, glasses, clothes, shoes, etc. And, this is something that I do want to have in my thoughts -- a profound gratitude that God has given me a temporary shelter on this earth and a sense of joy in managing it for His glory.

Enjoy!

30 days of gratitude in the home...

In I John 3, John says, "See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children and God, and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know him."

That is a love to be thankful for! It's only in one sense that everyone is born a child of God and that is in the sense that we are all children of Adam. Yet, sin makes of us estranged children. We are not part of God's family until God restores that relationship.

John 1 says, "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God." To those who accept Christ, Jesus gives the right to become children of God. Accepting Him opens our hearts to hear how we might become so.

Ephesians 1 says of Christians that "God predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will". Ephesians 2:10 tells us "Go then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and are of God's households."

I Peter 1:14 gives this as a motivation for godly living: "As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves in all your behavior.

In I John, John goes on to say that if we are children of God, the world will not know it. This is because they do not know the Father.

In the movie "An Old Fashioned Thanksgiving, a young widow struggled to keep her family together. She and her children were treated poorly by the wife of their landlord. Likewise, few people in the town saw anything special about them.

Then, one day, the young woman's mother arrives in town. Through this event, the townspeople learn that the widow is the daughter of a wealthy and famous industrialist who died and left her mother a fortune.

Once the people learn who the woman's father is, their treatment of her changes. In particular, the landlady now is eager to be friends with her tenant. Nothing about the daughter changed to make people respond to her with more kindness. It was the people who changed when they learned who her father was. She displayed a fine character before people knew her position and a fine character after people knew her position.

In the same way, if we are children of God, the world will not recognize it. In fact, we may be mistreated. However, children of God do not lose their confidence in the face of mistreatment from the world. The true child of God knows that he or she has been called to make the Father known to as many as will listen and become children of God, themselves. The child of God knows that the Father, "is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9. We are also called to be made more like Christ and to purify our character in readiness for the day we are called to stand before the Father.

For the child of God, knowing God the Father brings security and humility, but not pride. The child of God understands that it's only because of God's magnificent love that he or she is adopted by Him. The child of God is ever-grateful for this gift made possible only through Christ's blood.

So, if we are truly children of God, we can live with gratitude in this world, even if, in this world, we face temptations, trials, and persecution. We know that our standing before God is not changed by whether or not people recognize us. We can be happy and content in all situations, as Paul says in Philippians that he learned to be. We can also choose to love others as Christ loved us.

Children of God rejoice with John when he says, "Beloved, now we are chlidren of God, and it has not appeared as what we will be. We know that when he appears, we shall be like HIm, because we will see Him just as He is." I John 3:2

Enjoy!

Book Review -- Love by Calvin Miller

Love by Calvin Miller was one of Book Sneeze's Valentine's Day offerings. (I'm late in posting a review). I think it's a wonderful idea to give a book about God's love to honor the day. This book consists of scriptures references with illustrative stories and questions for a reader to ponder or a group to discuss. If I could have only one book about God's love, this wouldn't be it. I've read other works about this theme that are more captivating and more thorough. However, it is worth reading.

Enjoy!

Gratitude in the Home...

If I can write an unkind letter, speak an unkind word, think an unkind thought without grief and shame, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I do not feel far more for the grieved Savior than for my worried self when troublesome things occur, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can rebuke without a pang, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If my attitude be one of fear, not faith, about one who has disappointed me; if I say, "Just what I expected" if a fall occurs, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am afraid to speak the truth, lest I lose affection, or lest the one concerned should say, "You do not understand," or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if I put my own good name before the other's highest good, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am content to heal a hurt slightly, saying "Peace, peace," where there is no peace; if I forget the poignant word "Let love be without dissimulation" and blunt the edge of truth, speaking not right things but smooth things, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I hold on to choices of any kind, just because they are my choice, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am soft to myself and slide comfortably into self-pity and self-sympathy; If I do not by the grace of God practice fortitude, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I myself dominate myself, if my thoughts revolve round myself, if I am so occupied with myself I rarely have "a heart at leisure from itself," then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If, the moment I am conscious of the shadow of self crossing my threshold, I do not shut the door, and keep that door shut, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I cannot in honest happiness take the second place (or the twentieth); if I cannot take the first without making a fuss about my unworthiness, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I take offense easily, if I am content to continue in a cool unfriendliness, though friendship be possible, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I feel injured when another lays to my charge things that I know not, forgetting that my sinless Savior trod this path to the end, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I feel bitter toward those who condemn me, as it seems to me, unjustly, forgetting that if they knew me as I know myself they would condemn me much more, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If souls can suffer alongside, and I hardly know it, because the spirit of discernment is not in me, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the praise of others elates me and their blame depresses me; if I cannot rest under misunderstanding without defending myself; if I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I crave hungrily to be used to show the way of liberty to a soul in bondage, instead of caring only that it be delivered; if I nurse my disappointment when I fail, instead of asking that to another the word of release may be given, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I do not forget about such a trifle as personal success, so that it never crosses my mind, or if it does, is never given room there; if the cup of flattery tastes sweet to me, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If in the fellowship of service I seek to attach a friend to myself, so that others are caused to feel unwanted; if my friendships do not draw others deeper in, but are ungenerous (to myself, for myself), then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I refuse to allow one who is dear to me to suffer for the sake of Christ, if I do not see such suffering as the greatest honor that can be offered to any follower of the Crucified, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I slip into the place that can be filled by Christ alone, making myself the first necessity to a soul instead of leading it to fasten upon Him, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If my interest in the work of others is cool; if I think in terms of my own special work; if the burdens of others are not my burdens too, and their joys mine, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I wonder why something trying is allowed, and press for prayer that it may be removed; if I cannot be trusted with any disappointment, and cannot go on in peace under any mystery, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the ultimate, the hardest, cannot be asked of me; if my fellows hesitate to ask it and turn to someone else, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

That which I know not, teach Thou me, O Lord, my God.

From If (Calvary Love)

Lovely thought of the day:

Sweet stream that winds through yonder glade,
Apt emblem of a virtuous maid
Silent and chaste she steals along,
Far from the world's gay busy throng:
With gentle yet prevailing force,
Intent upon her destined course;
Graceful and useful all she does,
Blessing and blest where'er she goes;
Pure-bosom'd as that watery glass,
And Heaven reflected in her face.

To A Young Lady

By William Cowper

30 days of gratitude in the home -- day 14

Teaching children to be grateful for toys and possessions....

Too many toys can be overwhelming to young children. Instead of settling down for creative play time, they become restless. Plus, if they are given too many things at once, they often flit from one thing to another and scatter their toys about. Picking up thus becomes a chore that can be overwhelming to both mother and child. If a child is innundated with too much of a good thing, it's hard for that child to learn gratitude for his or her possessions. Deciding how many choices of play things to give to a child at one time is a personal decision best made by the parents who know their child's limits.

When my children were preschooler, another mother shared this tip with me. Her children would often receive several toys at Christmas and for birthdays. The givers of these toys -- i.e. grandparents -- meant well, but sometimes gave more than the mother thought her children could really enjoy. Instead of giving her children all of these things to play with at once, she divided the toys into thirds, bringing down only one third at a time in a year-long rotation. Thus, her children thoroughly played with and enjoyed a smaller subset of toys. When it was time for a new rotation, it was as if the children were receiving new things to play with. They were grateful and mother, children, and grandparents were happy.

Another mother shared with me that she was ruthless about culling down the toy chest by giving away toys that were no longer being used and disposing of items that were worn out or broken.

Letting a child pick a toy from among his own to give to a toy drive is another way of helping a child learn gratitude. This works best if the child thinks of this on his or her own because he or she sees your example of giving to others. It also works if the child is agreeable to the suggestion that each person in the family give to such a drive. Coercing a child to give when it's not in his or her heart is not as effective in teaching gratitude. Some children are not ready to give a toy in this manner, and it's best not to make the child feel pressured. Likewise, a young child may happily give things away without realizing that those things aren't coming back. In such cases, parents can encourage the child's giving spirit but ensure that the child retains things he would miss later.

Involving your child in the care of and clean-up of his or her own possessions is another way to help a child learn gratitude. Even young toddlers can help pick up toys and put them in containers or on low shelves. As the child grows, he or she can learn more responsibility for his or her own possessions.

Enjoy!

Book Review

Randy Alcorn, The Goodness of God, gift size edition.

Randy Alcorn's book, The Goodness of God, is subtitled, Assurance of Purpose in the Midst of Suffering. The version I have, which is a review copy sent to me by Multnomah's Blogging for Books program, is abridged from a longer book dealing with the same subject.

The issue of suffering is a deep one. Alcorn points the reader to a deeper knowledge of and trust in the Lord, which -- in the end -- is what we cling to when going through trials. He says,

"In our times of suffering, God doesn't give answers as much as he gives himself. And already, in the bible, h has revealed more than enough of himself to give us solid reasons for faith -- yet not enough to make our faith unnecessary."

He also writes, "Because Jesus willingly entered this world of evil and suffering and didn't spare himself, but took on the worst of it for my sake and yours, he has earned my trust even for what I can't understand."

Alcorn doesn't ask the reader to accept suffering on blind faith, but offers perspectives about evil and suffering that help build trust in God's sovereignty and goodness. It certainly gave me some good food for thought. I read it quickly once and intend to read it again so that I can ponder some of his points more deeply.

This is the kind of book to read and study in those moments when things are going well in order to have a good foundation for any trials that might come later. I'm not sure whether or not I would give this book to someone who was in the throes of an acute tragedy. What helps people in the first moments of suffering or trial varies, and I would consider whether a particular person would find this book to be of comfort in such a time or not before giving it to him or her. However, I would more likely give it as a gift to someone who struggles with the issue of suffering in general or to someone who is facing a chronic trial or who is already past the first shock of suffering.

The book is written mostly for those who already have some kind of faith in the Lord. It does include a section at the end aimed to the person who has never come into a relationship with Christ. Here's my only criticism of the book: This little section is the standard presentation that occurs in many religious books. It assumes that the person can become a Christian simply by reading this book and "praying Jesus into their heart". My conviction is that this does readers a terrible disservice by 1) taking certain scriptures out of their context as written to Christians and using them -- wrongly -- as a basis for initial conversion, 2) failing to present the full truth and beauty of the gospel the way the apostles showed us throughout the book of Acts and 3) leaving out the personal relationships needed to help a person become a disciple of Jesus, to connect with Jesus' sacrifice for us and his grace, and to be nurtured in the faith. (See Matthew 28:18-20).

Enjoy!

Gratefulness in the home....

Young people (and not so young people) often imagine that a cynical, blasé demeanor makes them seem more sophisticated and mature. In fact, one of the definitions given for the word blasé in the Free Dictionary
is very sophisticated.

I suppose this phenomenon has been going on for generations -- perhaps even back to Adam and Eve's progeny. There's always a set of young people who don't want to appear naive, and so they affect a cool disdain for everything and everyone they imagine falls short of their crowd's tastes and beliefs. If indulged in, this can form a habit of complaining, rather than being grateful.

In truth, not only is gratitude a godly virtue, it earns more respect from others than complaints and disdain do. A sign of maturity is to be able to find something to appreciate in every person and in every circumstance. That's not to say that we always agree with others or that we are happy about every situation in our lives. There is a time to respectfully stand for our beliefs, even if it means hurting someone's feelings or losing their good opinion of us. Even in that, however, we can wish the best for those with whom we must disagree. We can choose to be gracious, rather than to be bitter. By the same token, we can look for the good even in hard times, and we can maintain our peace, as the well-known prayer says, by doing what we can to change what we can and accepting what we can't.

Consider what sages and celebrities have said about gratitude:

"Gratitude is the sign of noble souls", said Aesop.

Epictetus puts it this way: "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."

Writer A. J. Cronin said, "Gratitude is something of which none of us can give too much.
For on the smiles, the thanks we give, our little gestures of appreciation,
our neighbors build their philosophy of life."

Elsie DeWolf, style maven of the early twentieth century, used to embroider pillows with the motto, "Never complain; never explain". This saying, which has been attributed to a number of sources, has inspired several historical figures to avoid complaining and making excuses.

Audrey Hepburn, who was known for her graciousness to others and her uncomplaining attitude said, "People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,
reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone."

"I firmly believe that in every situation, no matter how difficult, God extends grace greater than the hardship, and strength and peace of mind that can lead us to a place higher than where we were before," said Andy Griffith

Actress Renee Zellweger says, ""I'm very blessed with people who will go great distance out of their way to help not just me, but other people in their lives. I think that's a huge blessing."

Actor Michael J. Fox maintains gratitude in site of his battle with Parkinson's disease. "I wake up curious every day and every day I'm surprised by something. And if I can just recognize that surprise every day and say, "Oh, that's a new thing, that's a new gift that I got today that I didn't even know about yesterday," it keeps me going. It keeps me more than going. It keeps me enthusiastic and grateful."

Football analyst Michael Strahen says he is grateful for "life, family, and health."

These are just a smattering of notable people, past and present, who have publicly expressed gratitude. Of course, we don't look to people for our standard, but to God. However, those in their formative years do well to remember that there are many examples that prove real maturity and style isn't about complaining, but about looking to the best in life.

Enjoy!

Thankfulness in the home!

"God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame."
Elizabeth Barret Browning

Babies Don’t Keep

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

Sometimes a romantic notion....

I came across a charming blog written by a single woman and entitled The Wife. Her blog was featured in a Los Angeles Times article called Hits and Mrs.

Here's a quote from the article:

Whatever the source of their inspiration, a small contingent of women are turning to the Internet to champion the importance of being a good wife and partner. Some of their voices are sincere and straightforward. Others toy with the notion of 1950s housewifery, viewing it through a lens that seems clouded with nostalgia. It seems doubtful any of them would endear themselves to the editors of Ms. Magazine, but they have tapped into a longing.

Whitney Friedlander, author of the article ponders the fact that a Pew Research Center study reveals that 37% of women who work outside the home do not wish to work outside the home fulltime. She says:

Maybe those women are just tired, stressed out by the complications of everyday life amid a recession. Maybe it's easier to idealize so-called simpler times (1945 to '65 anyone?) amid difficult ones. Or perhaps we should examine the role of pop culture and TV, which has a tendency to clothe domestic life in perfect little cocktail dresses.

Has Ms. Friedlander really visited the great realm of blogs devoted to home and family as a full time way of life? It would appear not. Perhaps, she simply stopped by the Disneyworld theme park in that part of the blog-o-sphere -- the area that's devoted to pretty replications of family life. Perhaps, she missed the vast neighborhood of more realistic blogs where women at home share practical advice and discuss meaningful interests over their virtual back fences.

There are any number of bloggers she could have reviewed who truly are wives and mothers at home, rather than those who simply represent a longing for domestic life. These real wives have chosen to love their husbands and children and to manage their households as their way of life and as their career. They offer well-considered support to others who have chosen likewise.

I think this corner of the blog-o-sphere is a much larger community than the author might have imagined, and it is attracting more marketing dollars than the article implies. It ballooned before the recession hit, so it was built and peopled by something other than recession woes. Its inhabitants are also women who have been living this way long enough to be well over the notion of clothing domesticity in little black dresses. These are women who have chosen their role with serious intent, and these are women who expect, with reason, to be taken seriously by society. Is that too much to ask?

Having said that, some blogs do promote a glamorized view of the domestic life -- one which is more about the style and the dream than about the strong heart of home. All of us enjoy dreaming when we are young, and sometimes, we fix our romantic dreams a little askew. When I was a little girl, shows like "That Girl" romanticized what it would be like to be single and to have a career. I was young enough to believe when I watched it that a struggling young actress really could have an expensive and fantastic wardrobe and that "That Girl" and Donald really did remain chaste for years and years.

In her article, Ms. Friedlander spends a lot of time describing The Wife. The single author of The Wife developed her philosophy of being a wife when her affluent classmates were picked up from school by their mothers, and she was shuttled to daycare. The birth of her dream is understandable, perhaps even noble. However, she also makes no bones that she is also all about Style with a capital S. She earns income by taking gigs as a personal assistant to celebrities. In other words, she performs some small parts of the role that wives of lesser income either might leave undone or might perform themselves. The vision she presents of "the wife" is definitely that of a perfect, upper class wife, under girded by possessions of irreproachable quality and beauty, all while being dutiful to the environment.

The Wife is definitely a pretty blog. Is it the most realistic picture of love and family in the virtual neighborhood? Definitely not. Let's check back with Ms. Taryn in about 10 years. If she has become a wife as she aspires to be, I'm sure we'll find that her blog has evolved into a more substantial one. In the mean time, let's let her readers enjoy it for what it is.Let's face it. Women are exposed to many a romantic notion, and some of these notions have little to do with domestic bliss. Consider a few of the Disneyworld visions that allure us:

1) There is an exciting, fulfilling career out there for every woman.

2) Your family, domestic, and office life can be as perfect as the senator's, rock star's, CEO's, etc., even though you do not have the professional or personal staff that she does.

3) You can wait until your late 30's or even later for love, marriage, and children and have no problem conceiving, no problems adjusting to marriage, and no emotional fallout from a series of sexual relationships without the commitment of marriage.

4) If you don't have children, you can keep your perfect thighs and tummy forever. Or, at least until cellulite, hormones, and too many meals grabbed on the run catch up with you anyway.

5) There is a man waiting patiently out there who will take second fiddle to your career, who will never snore, who will do housework and who will do it the way you want it done, and who will always look like Brad Pitt did ten years ago.

6) It's all about you!

Sometimes, dreams do come true, and sometimes, they don't. If you are young and starting out in life, let me give you some advice right up front. #1 might be true for you. #6 never will be. :)

Somehow, we in America have gotten ourselves tied to a dream that a woman's fulfillment consists solely of whether she has a job outside of the home or not. No matter which side of the mommy wars we are on, we fail to talk about the deeper and larger issues.

Happiness and self-fulfillment are strange things. If you chase them for themselves, you will fail to capture them -- at least in any permanent sense. If, however, you diligently seek the Lord in all that you do, and if you do all that you do in love, you will find satisfaction as a by-product.

In the 1960's through the 1980's, women began to seek careers outside of the home as a means to self-fulfillment, and they began to view home life as something empty. At the same time, many a man hit a mid-life crisis in which he threw away the very career that his wife so eagerly sought. And, while all that was going on, there was a movement of people who were dropping out of the corporate rat race and heading back to the land in order to find happiness.

Perhaps, today's mid-life career crises will see a reversal of earlier cultural trends. At any rate, the restlessness of the male and the female heart probably has little to do with what type of work the person does, but what meaning the person finds in life and work. The person who does not know his Creator or Savior, and who lacks a sense of higher purpose, cannot fill that void entirely through work or family. The person who does all work to the glory of God finds peace in all situations.

To any young woman who aspires to become a wife and mother, I commend her for choosing a noble dream. Likewise, if a young woman has it in her heart to develop a talent or a career calling, this, too, may be a noble calling.

To both, though, I would ask, is your dream founded in the most important thing of all: to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might and with all your mind and to love others as your self? Have you surrendered your dream to the one who knows you best and who has your eternal best interests at heart?

Enjoy!

Day 11 -- Gratitude in the Home

I'm thankful for Trader Joe's dark chocolate covered dried cherries! They are my new Trader Joe's passion. Isn't dark chocolate medicinal? Isn't dark chocolate one of the major good groups? Surely, it is. And, when you combine it with fruit -- well, it must be healthy. (Do they offer 12 step groups for chocoholics?)

What is your food treat of the moment?

I love this verse: For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. I Timothy 4:4 This verse is speaking of foods here. But, all things God created are good. (Yes, in our fallen world, we must deal with sin, evil, God's discipline, God's wrath, natural accidents, and so forth. However, those are the result of the fall and were not part of the world as God originally brought it forth.)

How wonderful God is that everything He creates is useful, beautiful, suitable, beneficial when properly used, meeting a need, and appropriate. Everything that proceeds from Him is good. Don't you love reading about the creation and noticing every time that God pronounces a blessing on what He has made, "And God saw that it was good." When man and woman were created, we were good, because we were created by a good God, in His image.

I also love this description of Jesus in Acts 10:38 -- "how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing goood and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him."

How exciting it is that a woman disciple of Jesus is described in similar terms to her savior, teacher, and lord: In Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha (in Greek her name is Dorcas); she was always doing good and helping the poor. Acts 9:36 I don't know how people read the Bible and miss the fact that women play a wonderful role in God's word. What better thing could be said about your life than that you, like Jesus, went about doing good!

Of course, that reminds me of the Proverbs 31 woman, of whom it is said that she does her husband good and not harm all the days of her life. The whole beautiful description of her life is of a woman whose hands were busy performing works that were good -- useful, beautiful, of quality, meeting needs, etc., including reaching out beyond her family to the needy.

What a privilege it is to have opportunities to do good every day of our lives, just as Jesus models for us. We may get weary at times. We may forget why we are doing what we do. We may even get our priorities mixed up and get off track. We may feel under-appreciated, and we may even be misunderstood, persecuted, or, at the very least, overlooked. But, God promises that we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:6). That's something to be thankful for!

Day 10 -- Thirty Days of Gratitude in the Home

If I never had to drive in it, I'd be totally grateful for snow. There was a time when I had never seen snow (at least that I remembered), and I wanted to see it so badly. You see, my parents, who were both natives of Tennessee, moved to Jacksonville, Florida when they married. At that time, it had never snowed in Jacksonville, where I was born two years later. My only chance to see snow was on trips up "north", but most of those took place in the summer.

For my friends and I, snow was more elusive than Santa Claus. My third grade class used a geography text book which described children who lived in the tropics. This description contained the sentence, "Imagine what it must be like for boys and girls to live in a place where there is no snow." At this, we all howled with laughter. A place with no snow! We couldn't imagine living in a place with snow.

Some people who visited Jacksonville said that it had only one season. This, we knew, was not true. There was a white shoe season and a season when you could not wear white shoes. White shoe season was from Easter to Labor Day. There was also a season for swimming and a season when you did not go into the ocean, and our mothers were very particular about making sure that we did not brave the waves until it was warm enough. Only tourists from Canada, Michigan, Illinois, and other foreign places swam in the dead of winter, when the temperature might be a brisk 60 or 70 degrees F and the water was c-h-i-l-l-y enough to make you catch cold.

Even then, freezing temperatures were not unknown in Florida, and we would often hear of measures that the orange growers down state were taking to protect their crops. Once in a while, the needles on the pine trees in our yard would actually have a thin coat of ice over them. That was so exciting!

One year not long after we moved away, some snow flakes fell in the pan handle, though the flakes didn't stick. Jacksonville parents loaded up their kids and drove over, hoping to get them there in time to see snow falling.

While I was a child in Jacksonville, I would look at pictures of snow and imagine that it must be like balls of cotton dropping from the sky. Yes, I decided, it must feel wondrously soft and fluffy to the hands. Oh, intellectually, I knew that snow was, of course, cold, just as the droplets of frozen water on the pine needles were cold. (What a deliciously hard winter it was when the pine needles froze!) But, could anything that looked that beautiful in pictures be anything other than soothing to the touch? Somehow, the reality of cold didn't connect with my imaginary snow.

When I was ten, we planned a trip to Denver, but this was side-lined when we moved to Atlanta instead. So, after we had settled in, we took our first of many fall and winter trips to the mountains of Georgia, Tennessee, and the Carolinas. I would eventually see my fill of snow among those peaks, but on my first excursion, we found only a little patch of old snow in a tiny nook near an overlook. My parents pulled over, and I ran out and put my hands in it. Hmm. Curiously, the snow was not soft. It wasn't fluffy. And, it was truly cold -- stingingly so.

Then, came a freeze and my first exuberant leap out onto an icy patch in the street, followed by the clutziest fall imaginable in front of my new Georgia friends. That winter, the deciduous trees looked bare and not even the roses bloomed at Christmas time! It all seemed so dreary. And, despite the relentless cold (meaning that we had an occasional freeze in a three month span), there was no snow -- no snow at all! I thought that was the hardest, longest winter ever, and I longed for the lush landscape of northern Florida.

Little did I know that Georgia, with its tall, evergreen pines, its short, mild winters, and its early, glorious springs, was hardly the home of Nanook of the North. In fact, many people would think it's a fine place to spend the colder part of the year! Fortunately, my parents put me on a plane back to Jacksonville to spend Easter with my best friend, and the sight of all that beautiful green cured me of my first winter's home sickness.

After that, I enjoyed living in a place with four distinct seasons (or rather a long summer, a short fall, a short spring, and a tolerably short winter), rather than in the semi-tropics. In Atlanta, I saw my first snow flurries, which fascinated me to no end. Then, I saw my first snow.

In Atlanta, we'd usually get an inch or two of snow every year or every other year or so, and once in a great while, we'd have a big snow. Mostly, we'd have ice storms, and the pine trees would freeze and pop like gunfire, and huge branches would drop onto power lines, and take out transformers, and we'd lose electricity and get out of school. Getting out of school was fun. What was even more fun was going up into the mountains to see deeper snowfalls. The best fun of all was when my friends and I took makeshift sleds up hills and slid down them. (Not many Southern kids of my age and set had real sleds. We had every other piece of sports equipment known to man. Many had skis and traveled in order to catch snowy slopes. Even so, very few of us had sleds.) My friends who had moved down to Atlanta from up north were sometimes take it or leave it about snow, but to those of us who had always lived in Atlanta or points further South the rarity of snow meant that it never lost its excitement. Even when we were in college, we squealed like little kids at the sight of the first wet flake.

I have since married, had children, and have lived all over the South. Wherever I have lived, a good snowfall has shut down the town. To me, a snow day represents family time with no outside expectations. School? Canceled. Doctor's appointment? Canceled. Meeting you didn't really want to go to on that day? Postponed. Snow days mean hot chocolate and pancakes. Snuggling with babies. Playing outside with older kids. Taking walks with your husband. Actually being at home and having your neighbors at home, too, rather than waving at each other as your minivans wheel by each other. Taking your time to clean house or sew or do whatever without feeling any pressure to do anything else. Taking the time to pray. Throughout my married life, I always viewed a snow day as a gift of rest given to us by God.

Snow has it's treacherous side, too. I learned that at age ten, when my mother and I were in a wreck on icy Atlanta roads. (Well, the villain, as it so often is in the South, was really ice, not snow. But, so often, our winter weather is a mixture of ice and snow.) I've never learned how to drive in snow and ice, and, judging by how many of my fellow Nashvillians drive, I'm not sure that many of my compadres have as well. Add that to the fact that Southern towns just don't have as much snow equipment as northern cities do, not to mention that we still have more rural areas near our more populated areas, and you've got a recipe for some nasty driving conditions.

I once rode across the city in a snow storm with a friend from northern New York. I suggested that we turn back. She told me that she had learned to drive in such conditions. She said that it was nothing to navigate her little car through the wintry precipitation. I yielded to her judgment. A little while later, we saw another friend of ours sliding back down a bridge. She could not get her car across the bridge. We saw that she was being helped, and we drove on. True to her word, my friend got us safely to our destination, which was both an answer to my constant prayers and a testimony to her driving skills. I was amazed at how well she handled her car on the roads. I was also happy when she delivered me safely home again.

As everyone knows, we are in a weather cycle in which the South (and much of the U.S.) has experienced more snowfall than usual in the past few years. This year, we started with snow early, and it looks like we're going to keep having more snowfalls. I already mentioned on this blog that this year marked my first bona fide white Christmas. A lot of places in the South that are now getting repeated snowfalls formerly had once snowfall in a year, if that. Life can come to a standstill once or twice a year, and we'll be none the worse for it. However, life can't stop every other week throughout a winter. If we continue in the weather pattern that we're in now, we may have to learn new ways of coping with winter storms. After all, people in Boston and Chicago, and Philadelphia and Denver trudge on, even when it snows.

Sigh.

I like my quiet snow days.

Still, learning something new is always good.

So, I remind myself, in all things, be grateful.

Enjoy!

P.S. Why is this article about snow illustrated by a poodle? I took my toy poodle out for a walk today. As usual, he loved the snow. When we got back home, however, I realized that he had huge chunks and balls of ice stuck in the fur of his legs, and I couldn't get them out. So, I gave him a warm bath, which he needed anyway. Fun is a dog with a puppy's heart!

Book Review: The Jesus Inquest by Charles Foster

Charles Foster describes "The Jesus Inquest" as the case for and against the resurrection of the Christ. Since he is a trial lawyer, he puts the resurrection on trail. He creates Character X who presents the position of unbelief and Character Y, who, with limitations, is designed to represent the Christian position. Mr. Foster attempts to keep faith out of the question and deal only with facts that could be examined in a courtroom setting. He does have some faith in the resurrection, himself, but he leaves it up to the reader to sort through the evidence and draw his or her own conclusion.

While there is interesting material in the book, I don't recommend it. Mr. Foster, himself, describes the weakness of the book in his preface. He realizes that neither the Christian nor the unbeliever will think that his or her case has been presented as strongly as it could be. A mature Christian who is familiar with apologetics might enjoy the book and learn something from it. However, I think that the book raises fruitless arguments that might needlessly shake the faith of some who are not mature enough to discern which arguments have a solid foundation and which don't.

Likewise, Foster does not establish the validity of God's word or the trustworthiness of the canon as we have it. People who are examining the evidence for the resurrection need to be presented with reasons why God and his word can be believed. Similarly, a person presenting portions of God's word must use them in context to avoid straw arguments, such as the odd misunderstandings cites surrounding I Corinthians 15.

I do believe that certain facts point to the truth of the resurrection beyond any reasonable doubt. In one sense, taking the evidence to trial would seem both logical and helpful. Certainly, verifying evidence can build our faith. However, this approach works only to a certain point. After all, court rooms run on precedence, and Jesus was the ultimate precedent breaker. He shakes up everything we have come to expect from a fallen world. His death and resurrection defeated two things that we, in our finite human experience, believe to be inevitable: sin and death.

From the prophecies of his coming to his birth to a virgin to his exit from a tomb, Jesus is like no other man we have ever met. He certainly is like no other man to ever step onto a witness stand. In ordinary circumstances, dead people do not come back to life. Jesus did. That is the point. We would do well not to endlessly examine evidence without arriving at a conclusion, but to take hold of the truth and preach it with power. (Acts 4:33)

(I received a copy of this book from Thomas Nelson's Book Sneeze program. My opinions are my own.)