Breathe Easy...

Have you ever watched a sleeping baby or even a sleeping animal? Do you notice how easily they breathe?

God created us with a natural rhythm for breathing. We each have a diaphragm, which is tailor-made for our specific body. It's function is to supply each of us with the right amount of air we need during rest and during normal activity.

This diaphragm is a thin, strong sheet of muscle that is attached to the lower edges of our ribs.
It flattens down to expand our lungs as we inhale oxygen-rich air. As it relaxes, it returns to its normal, somewhat domed shape, and carbon-dioxide filled air is expelled from our lungs. Our diaphragm also acts as a pump, helping the heart circulate blood up and down the body. It's gentle action on the stomach help digestion, as well.

The diaphragm works with the chest or intercostal muscles. When we are quiet, the lower ribs and upper abdomen flare gently, helping the diaphragm, while the upper ribs remain relaxed and still.

During moderate to strong exercises, the upper chest opens up like a reserve tank, to take in extra oxygen-rich air; this also happens when we feel fear or anger and the body prepares us for flight or fight. Sometimes, when needed, our neck and shoulder muscles even get involved. (Information on how our breathing works taken from the book, "Hyperventilation Syndrome by Dinah Bradley).

Now, God made it so that this breathing system works without much, if any, conscious effort on our part. For people who continue to breathe normally throughout life, this system naturally shifts back and forth from relaxed breathing to breathing for intense activity. God created our bodies so that they know just how much oxygen and carbon-dioxide we need, and it directs our breathing to keep our blood at just the right mix. This leads to a sense of overall well-being. Unless there is a malfunction of some other system or organ in the body, the person who breathes well feels well.

However, while most of our breathing happens without our even thinking about it, God did give us some control over our breathing. This is to our benefit. For example, think of the swimmer who times his breathing so that his overhand crawl stroke is efficient. Or, think of the singer who uses her breath to support her singing.

Unfortunately, many adults and even some children lose the natural rhythm of breathing that God gave us. When this happens, we develop poor habits of breathing and of posture.

We've all heard about people who have an intense attack in which they hyperventilate. In other words, they breathe too quickly and too shallowly in response to a trauma of some kind. They get their upper chests going in response to emotion, yet they should be breathing low and slow in order to calm themselves.

This hyper-breathing upsets the ratio of oxygen to carbon dioxide in the body. In an acute situation, this imbalance can make the person feel so sick that they may even fear they are going to die. Fortunately, hyperventilation is rarely dangerous, even though it feels catastrophic to the person experiencing it. It can be easily corrected by a few methods that helps the person return to normal breathing and normal levels of blood oxygen and carbon dioxide.

While we've heard about intense hyperventilation, many of us have not heard about chronic hyperventilation. Chronic hyperventilation occurs when someone develops long-term breathing habits that are unhealthy. Chronic hyperventilation is generally less dramatic than acute hyperventilation; no one could function on a daily basis at that intense level of over-breathing. Yet, while chronic hyperventilation is not as intense as acute hyperventilation, it still messes with the gases in our blood. This can lead to all sorts of symptoms, which can be frightening and discouraging.

Here are just a few symptom of chronic hyperventilation: Tingling and numbness in lips and extremities; chest-pains (Never self-diagnose chest pains! You must consult a doctor to rule out any cardiac causes!); frequent deep sighs and yawns; feeling light-headed or having a sense that everything is fading into white; feeling "spacey"; temporary changes in vision and other sensory perceptions; weakness; unusual fatigue; restless sleep; nightmares; achy muscles and joints; palpitations; anxiety; inability to relax; upset stomach; irritable bowel syndrome; unexplained breathlessness; "air hunger"; just feeling "off", etc.

Note: There are many conditions that can cause any of all of these symptoms. The body has only so many ways of signaling distress, so we need medical attention to help us sort out what's what. Once again, do not diagnose yourself. Let a doctor help you. Once the doctor has ruled out other conditions, you can investigate chronic hyperventilation as a factor.

So, if we are born breathing properly, then why do so many people become chronic hyperventilators? There are many reasons. Here are a few examples:

A. Some people have incorrect ideas about posture, which causes them to hold in muscles that are meant to expand and contract effortlessly.
B. Our culture values flat stomachs. It is good to avoid abdominal fat, which can lead to heart problems. And, there is some value in standing properly, so that our lower abdominal organs are held in their right place. However, it's not helpful to obsess about having unnaturally flat abs. Our abdomens are meant to expand when we breathe. If we continually suck them in tightly for vanity' sake, we can undermine our health.
C. Some children (and adults) experience a lot of stuffy noses. Consequently, they can get into a habit of breathing through their mouths, which encourages hyperventilation.
D. Likewise, asthma, by definition, is an interruption in our normal breathing cycle. Those who suffer from chronic asthma sometimes continue to breathe differently, even when they are not currently experiencing an attack. Asthma is nothing to fool around with, so get a doctor's advice in this regard.
E. During times of change, stress, or even happy busyness, we can get into a habit of holding in the muscles around our diaphragm tightly, rather than letting the diaphragm work as it normally should. We can do this without even realizing it. Many's the time I've been surprised to catch myself holding in my upper abdomen.
F. A woman's monthly hormonal shifts, as well as menopause, can affect breathing patterns. Once again, the body will try to to normalize breathing. However, if you have let yourself develop bad breathing habits, it will be hard for your breathing to correct itself.
G. People who have health problems, particularly heart or lung problems, can become over-anxious about their health and chronically hyperventilate as a result.
H. After surgery, people are given breathing exercises and breathing devices that help us keep our lungs clear and pneumonia free. In the short term, this is a good thing. But, it's essential to return to normal breathing once the recovery period is over.
I. People with permanent damage to their lungs and airways may not be able to breathe normally. A doctor's advice can help.

Next time: How to maintain or recover good habits of breathing.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

Hi All!

I'm sorry I've been out of pocket for the last week. Between helping my dad settle into a new living situation, traveling out of town, and coping with some minor health issues, I've fallen down on my blogging all together.

We are about through with our First Finishing School project. If you were on the teacher's list and have not posted your week yet and would like to, please contact me.

Coming up: We will be transferring the posts to the Finishing School Blog. Also, we will issue a printable certificate for anyone who wants to have a memento of completing the "course".

At some future point, we may do a Finishing School, Part II. So, if you have any suggestions for "classes" you'd like to take, please let me know. We could delve more in depth about one of the topics we've covered already, or we could introduce something
new.

A big thank-you to all of the teachers who participated, as well as to all of you who have followed along with our posts. Also, thanks to Emma, who helped kick-start the idea, and her husband, who created our signature button.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

Don't forget to keep checking Sherry's blog at Redbud's Lane. She has still been posting this week about ribbon embroidery, and has just now reached the end of her lovely series.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

"Up and up the car climbed over the grassy road, not as on a steep hill, but a steady slope so gradual that only when Noel stopped the car did she realize that they were on the top of such an elevation. In three directions they could look over the fertile country with its prosperous farm homes. Acres of plowed land and acres of green wheat divided the land into checkerboard squares. Far to the north, the silver thread of a river shone through willows. The spires of three country churches pointed upward, remindingly, to the heavenly blue of the sky. To the east only a smoky haze told tales of the city. On the south side of the road, a sloping apple orchard, like a great pink-and-white nosegay, filled the girl with ecstasy.

"Oh!" Leah Lindsey stood up in the car. "did you ever see such a beauty place?

"Can you see anything up there?" he asked. "Anything that isn't there?"

"Of course! A house -- little low house! How absurd a tall one would be. It's shingled and stained. The sides are apple-blossom white and the roof is green, as if all the leaves from the apple trees had tumbled on it. There are windows everywhere for the blossoms to look in. Inside the house there are gay chintz curtains and books and a corner cupboard and shiny pans and clean milk crocks! And down the back path are hollyhocks and blue cornflowers!"

From "Their House of Dreams" by Bess Streeter Aldrich

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

Houses and Bess Streeter Aldrich -- Part II

At the time Mrs. Aldrich wrote her stories, young people were breaking with "traditional" ways of doing things. Many wanted to be "urban" and "sophisticated", and they wanted to distance themselves from small town or rural roots. They were also experiencing the end of the First World War. The horrors of a world war were a shock to that generation, and war experiences left many young people with a jaded view of life.

Society was changing, as well. Chaperones and strict rules of courtship were falling by the wayside. Automobiles were replacing horses and buggies. Young people were more likely to meet each other away from home than ever before. Now, families might not even meet a prospective son or daughter in law until the couple had already formed some type of friendship.

While some people rushed towards the "Roaring Twenties" with enthusiasm, many others yearned for the days when life was simpler. Sound familiar? Based on where we are today, we think of the early twentieth century as being part of "the good old days". We look back to that time and long for its "innocence".

Yet, people of the early twentieth century weren't sure what to make of the changes in their day, just as we wrestle with the changes in our own times. Thus, they had to make the same choice that all people have to make in every century and every decade: Do I build my life on the unchanging Rock or do I let myself be blown along the sands of life by the winds of an ever-changing world?

Mrs. Streeter didn't exactly put it that way. What she saw was a growing "modern" disdain for the "old-fashioned", wholesome, Midwestern way of life. Now, that way of life is not necessarily one and the same as true faith in the Rock. However, there is much to be said for the values Mrs. Streeter had grown up with. She championed those values with a light touch and a dose of humor.

Mrs. Streeter captures this theme in her light-hearted story, "The Mason Family Now on Exhibition." Katherine, the eldest daughter of a large and happy family, had just returned from teacher's college. The experience has been a good one for her, and she has come home as a contented and accomplished young woman.

But, now, as she awaits the arrival of her beau, Professor Keith Baldridge, to Sunday dinner, she starts looking at her home through newly critical eyes. Suddenly, her family's faults seem to loom larger and larger. Their many great points seem, unaccountably, to diminish. She does not stop to analyze why this is so.

Keith hasn't proposed yet, and Katherine hopes that he will once he has formally met her family. The thought excites her, but makes her nervous at the same time. Though she is usually easy-going in character, she now drives her family to distraction. She wants her home and family to be perfect for her wonderful, intellectual, sophisticated Keith.

Katherine views Keith's home life as being the ultimate in refinement, and she tries her best to turn her own family into an imitation of his. Her parents realize this is unwise. Still, they are patient with Katherine, and they urge her siblings and the maid, Tilly, to be patient with her, as well. However, the family, in no wise, shares Katherine's attitude that anything is lacking in their happy home. Katherine redoubles her efforts:

"If you could just know, Mama, how different the Baldridge home is from ours!" Katherine was in the kitchen now, assisting Mother and Tillie. "Our family is so talkative and noisy, and laughs over every little silly thing, and there is so much confusion. Why, at their dinners -- beside Professor Baldridge, there's just his father and an aunt, both so aristocratic -- at their dinners it's so quiet and the conversation is so enlightening -- about Rodin, and -- and -- Wagner -- and, oh, Maybe Milton... -- you know what I mean, so much more refined...And I wish you could see their house. It's not as big as ours, and really no nicer, but, oh! the atmosphere! The hangings are gray or mauve or dark purples -- and they keep the shades down so much lower than ours -- so it's peaceful, you know, like twilight all the time..."

"Ain't that a gloomy way to live, and unhealthy, too, I must say." It was Tilly speaking.

Katherine still insists on perfecting the family before Keith's arrival.

"After breakfast, Katherine, like General Pershing, reviewed her troop, the house, and the grounds. From vestibule to back porch, through the big reception hall, library, living-room, sun parlor, everything was immaculate. There was not a flicker of dust in the house. There was not a stick or dead leaf on the lawn."

Mother Mason remembers her own days of courtship, when she waited for Father Mason to propose. As sympathetic to Katherine's plight as she is, she realizes that Katherine is behaving poorly. She resists the impulse to make an issue of it right then, when her daughter was anticipating Keith's arrival. Still, she is a bit skeptical about her daughter falling for a man who has inspired her to indulge in such snobbish attitudes.

When Keith finally arrives, Mother Mason realizes that he is a man of character. She also sizes him up as being friendly and down-to-earth, to boot. Her heart is relieved for her daughter's sake.

"He was big and athletic-looking, and under well-modeled brows shone gray-blue eyes that were unmistakably frank and kind. What that God-given intuition of mothers, she knew that he was clean--clean in mind and soul and body."

For her part, Katherine is thrown for a loop when her Grandfather decides to join her family for lunch. She loves the elderly man, but he is from the pioneer generation, and his manners are anything but aristocratic. Grandfather tells Keith all about his adventures as a young homesteader and pioneer, peppering the stories with poor grammar and incidents he has already told the family a hundred times. Keith, being a professor of history, couldn't be more delighted to meet a man who actually made history.

Katherine doesn't realize just how much Keith enjoys the lunch until -- after obtaining her family's permission -- he takes her for a drive. He tells Katherine the astonishing news that he has invited her grandfather to dine at his father's house the next week. He wants to write a book about the state's pioneer generation, and he wants to interview Grandfather Mason.

As Keith talks on and on enthusiastically about Katherine's family and her town and the land around them, Katherine realizes -- perhaps for the first time -- just how special her family really is. Perhaps, by using "sophisticated" Keith as a mouthpiece, Mrs. Aldrich was gently challenging her "modern" readers to respect their own heritage.

"And this", he went on again, indicating the landscape, "this is our heritage from the pioneers. From sod houses to such beautiful homes as yours! I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed being with your family today. It's the typical happy American family. When I think of my own gloomy boyhood, I could fight someone -- a lonesome, motherless, little tad studying manners, and "Thanatopsis," under a tutor. Yours is the kind of home I've always wanted. It's the kind of home I mean to have when I marry -- all sunshine and laughter and little children."...

He turned to her suddenly and caught her hands. "It was to talk about that that I brought you out here. With my whole heart -- I love you -- Katherine."

Katherine accepts his proposal, and Keith takes his leave. The whole family sends him off with love and food and well wishes.

"All but Katherine, for she was not there. She had slipped into the front door and up to her room. There she dropped on her knees by the side of her bed and made a little fervent prayer to the God of families. And her prayer was this: That some day -- if she lived humbly for the rest of her life -- she might be purged from the sin of being disloyal -- even in thought -- to her own."

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

Houses and Bess Streeter Aldrich -- Part I

Many of you know Bess Streeter Aldrich (b. 1881 - d. 1954) from her famous novel, "A Lantern in Her Hand." Lantern is a loving, but unflinching look, at the life of sensitive, musically talented, pioneer woman, Abbie Deal, who gave up many of her childhood dreams for the sake of her husband, her family, and their land.

I read an abridged version of the book when I was a little girl, and I don't remember much about it -- except that it left me feeling much sadder than reading the Little House Books. However, that was from the point of a sheltered young girl who was probably reading a book that was over her head. Now that I have a more mature understanding of the problems and challenges a woman and a family can face, I might see other treasures in the book if I were to read it today. The upshot is that I just don't remember enough about the book to give a recommendation. Maybe, some of you who are familiar "A Lantern in Her Hand" can leave comments about what you did or didn't like about the book.

Did you know that Mrs. Aldrich wrote a lot of short fiction, as well? I have been reading "The Collected Short Works 1907-1919) of Mrs. Aldrich, and I've enjoyed these stories a lot. It's been an interesting insight into the life of small-town women around the turn of the 20th century. These women are happier, better educated, more talented, and more strong of mind and character than you might think if you knew only today's popular idea of what life was like in that era.

Mrs. Aldrich repeats a number of themes in her stories. The most obvious one is her love of small-town Midwestern and western characters, who possessed shared characteristics with her real life Midwestern and western relatives and neighbors. An equally strong theme strong theme is a woman's love of marriage, family, and home. In her fiction, this often involves the necessity of either choosing for the first time or of re-finding the path to a happy home life.

Now, keep in mind, the magazines who accepted Mrs. Aldrich's work were either family
magazines or women's magazines. Readers of these magazines expected family life to be portrayed in a positive way. They enjoyed wholesome, if also funny and poignant, stories about down-to-earth people. Many people of that time had also moved from farms and small towns to big cities, and they welcomed stories that appealed to their nostalgia for their country roots.

That suited Mrs. Aldrich's style just fine. A native of Iowa and a long-time resident of Nebraska, she had a great affection for the people of America's heartland. She also had great respect for her own pioneer heritage. When she wrote of a wholesome home life and of small town life in general, she knew whereof she spoke: She had a happy partnership with her banker/farmer husband, raised four children, participated in church and community activities, has a recipe published in an Armour Cookbook, and helped start the first public library in Elmwood, Nebraska.

Her husband recognized her talent and encouraged her to take more time for writing. But, Mrs. Aldrich would not let her family suffer for her art. She said that she wrote while "the meals cooked, when babies tumbled over my feet, and while I was ironing, in the old days. the hand that rocked the cradle was often the left one, while the right was jotting down a sentence or two. I have had the first draft of many a story sprinkled liberally with good old sudsy, dishwater."

Here's a description of Mrs. Aldrich's work by Carol Miles Peterson:

Not surprisingly, Adrich's principles for her fiction were those by which she lived. Her writing must be acceptable to everyone, she determined. Her stories are about decent people saying and doing decent things. There is no swearing in Aldrich stories, no sex, no divorce, none of the seamy side of life; indeed, decent and seamy are Aldrich's terms. She (Mrs. Aldrich) wrote, "Why quarrel with a writer over realism and idealism? After all, an author is a glass through which a picture of life is projected. the picture falls upon the pages of the writer's manuscript according to the mental and emotional contours of that writer. It is useless to try to change those patterns. If one writer does not see life in terms of dirt and grime and debaucheries, it is no sign that those sordid things do not exist. If another does not see life in terms of faith and love, courage and good deeds, it does not follow that these characteristics do not exist....I claim that one may portray some of the decent things about him and reserve the privilege to call that real life, too."

Since family is such an important element in Mrs. Aldrich's writing, it's no surprise that she described some delightful houses and cottages. The houses are just the literary framework for the happy family within; they are merely symbols of happiness and shelter. But, her vivid descriptions of them do help me visualize what it means to keep a comfy, welcoming dwelling. Of course, Mrs. Aldrich had in mind the styles of her day, particularly the old Victorians or the newer Craftsman style that was coming into vogue. But, you could take some of the same principles and use them to create a lovely home in any style from Victorian to ultra-modern.

Here's one description of home in a story by Mrs. Aldrich. In this scene, a fiance is showing his young lady around a humble little house. He hopes she will think it a worthy place to set up housekeeping. He is sure enough of her character to know that she will be happy with it. But, he has a financial dilemma to solve, and he hasn't told his bride about it yet.

The bride-to-be was orphaned as a young girl and has lived at school or with relatives ever since. She has become a school teacher. She misses her parents and the sense of home she had before they died. She doesn't care about having a luxurious dwelling; she only wants a little place that she and her husband can call "home". As the couple passes through the house, the fiance watches his bride for her reaction.

"The house was nothing unusual, a story and a half, bungalow style. It has its duplicate in almost every city of the Union with only the loving touches of the people who call it home to differentiate it from the others. Up the steps they passed and to the wide porch. Jim inserted the key, was turning it, as Eleanor touched his arm. 'Oh wait Jim." she said breathlessly. 'Wait just a minute. It's such a -- big thing in my life -- I want to take it slowly.'... They entered a reception hall, bare of furnishings, but, even so, it seemed to hold out warm, welcoming hands... 'Oh, how pretty it will be,' she said, happily, 'a soft green and gray rug, green and russet pillows on the built-in seat, and -- oh, Jim, could we have a clock on the stairway?"...They turned to the left, where pillars separated the hall from the living room. 'A fireplace!" the girl exclaimed. 'And built in bookcases on either side! Oh, it will be so dear in here -- warm, soft tans and browns in wall paper and rug, creamy curtains, and old-rose pillows on the davenport, our books in the low cases, and hyacinths in a silver dish on the library table....To the dining-room was but a few steps. The slanting rays of the sun were flickering unsteadily over the floor. 'Blue", she announced decisively, "Delft and cornflower blue, and brass candlesticks on the buffet. My mother's dishes that she left me have delicate little sprays of cornflowers on them,a nd the curtians shall have borders to match...Pushing open the swing-door, the kitchen seemed fairly to shout at them, 'Now what do you think of me?' It was small, but as snowy-white and charming as enamel, aluminium, and glass could make it.'

The house had three upstairs bedrooms, all of which the girl figures that she can furnish and decorate with items she inherited from her family. These things are old-fashioned and a bit worn, but she does not mind. She has no notion that she must have all new stuff in order to furnish her home. She also states that even if they could afford a maid, she wouldn't want one, for she wants to take care of the lovely house herself. Her fiance takes special note that though he has not brought up the subject of a budget, she, by character, displays thrift and creativity in her plans.

While the girl is dreaming about a cozy home, the fiance turns his financial dilemma over in his mind. His wealthy stepfather has offered him a great deal of money. If he accepts this offer, the young man will be able to treat his beautiful, intelligent, and talented wife to a grand house and a life of refinement. But, the young man fears that he will lose his self-respect if he follows this road, for the fortune his stepfather offers has a questionable condition attached to it.

His other choice is to reject the stepfather's offer, which means that he would lose all hope of any financial help from his stepfather forever. This means that the couple would start out in this humble cottage, for it is all the young man and woman can afford on their own. He would work hard at his career, with no guarantee that he could ever provide his wife with a fortune equal to that his stepfather offers. He would receive no inheritance from his wealthy parents. But, he can take this route and maintain his self-respect and peace of mind.

The bride's delight in the bungalow and her ability to envision how they can furnish it with economy and taste emboldens the fiance to tell her of his financial dilemma. Of course, the bride-to-be sets the young man's mind at ease. She chooses the humble cottage and the uncertain future, for she values her husband's character and self-respect far more than she does an easy fortune.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

Finishing School News



Sherry at Redbud's Lane is posting the rest of her series about ribbon embroidery. Sherry has had a lot going on lately, and we appreciate her continuing to work on this series for us. I know I've learned a lot already. I didn't know there were so many ways to transfer a pattern to a piece of cloth. I'm excited about the rest of the series.

Hope you all have enjoyed the Finishing School Series. We are winding down now, with only a few classes to go -- depending on how things work out. I know I've enjoyed it a lot, and I hope y'all have, as well.

I've had an interesting week, with helping my father get settled into new living arrangements and still dealing with his health. So, if you have left comments and I haven't gotten around to answering yours yet, please know that I will soon. I have read them all and appreciate every one.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

The board becomes more puzzling...The wonder of old porches
Regarding yesterday's posts.

In examining information about colonial and Victorian lap desks, it seems that most were really called, "Lap Boxes" or "Letter Boxes". The lap desks usually had a compartment underneath that held all the writing supplies. People could take these with them when they traveled. Usually, the writing surface was sloped, and, often, it could be lifted up to provide access to the supply compartment.

The lap desk I asked about in my last post does not have a box attached to it. And, it appears to be larger in size to the antique lap desks shown on the Internet.

I also searched blocking boards, knitting boards, and tatting boards and didn't see anything quite like it.

One interesting tidbit about my great-grandmother's home management. Every Monday, the washing was done come rain or shine. That was pretty typical back then, especially for someone of her German heritage.

Like most Southern homes, my great-grandmother's home had an open porch on the front, for socializing. Most Southern homes had a utlity porch on the back, as well. The one on her house ran down the side, but it was hidden from the street by the length of the front wing. My great-grandmother often did or had tasks done on the back porch. So, on this utility porch, she had long clotheslines where items were hung to dry in damp weather. On sunny days, they were hung on lines in the yard. I imagine that on blowing rainy days, the clothes were hung somewhere inside the house.

I also suppose that in the sweltering heat of the Tennessee's Little Delta, in pre-air-conditioned days, a family couldn't have too many porches!

In old Southern homes, the front porch was usually the place where the family relaxed, entertained company or at least waved to friends as they walked by, rocked in a porch swing, or sat in rocking or wicker chairs. The utility porch was generally on the back. It was sometimes screened -- provided extra storage, as well as a place to perform heat-producing chores, such as ironing, in fresh, cooler air. That made it more comfortable for the person doing the chore, and it also prevented the heat from adding to the general heat of the kitchen and house. This was also a place where you could do tasks that required good ventilation, such as polishing shoes or painting furniture.

The antebellum houses tended to have a defined front porch, and any other porches -- be they side porches or back porches were separate. Many of the later Victorian houses often had a porch that wrapped a good way around the front and sides of the home, plus a back porch.
In many parts of the South, they had screened-in sleeping porches, as well. When the summer heat became unbearable, you could sleep on the cooler porch and be perfectly safe from mosquitos.

I grew up in a mid-twentieth century home that had a huge screened in porch, where we had wrought-iron patio furniture with comfortable cushions. By this time, the screened-in porch had become less of a utility thing, but more like an extra room of someone's house. We also had shades that could be let down to screen slanting sun rays, if needed. We often sat or ate out there. I love fresh air, and I have very fond memories of times our family spent on this porch.

It seems like these screened-in were replaced by decks for a while, but are coming back in. While decks are nice, I'm all for the revival of porches! I adore porches. Many of the homes my relatives lived in when I was young were older homes, and many of them had wonderful porch swings where you could relax and rock.

At this point, we have a deck. But, perhaps, we will be able to convert it to a screened in porch one day, as some of our neighbors have done.

The oldest houses in my family -- the antebellum country homes -- were built with the kitchen separate from the main house. This was to keep any possible kitchen fires away from the big house, in a contained space. That way, if there was an accident with the fire in the kitchen, the kitchen might burn down, but main house could be saved. Also, it kept the intense heat of those old kitchens with the huge fire-places out of the house. Usually, those kitchens were connected to the main house by a covered walkway.

By the time I came along, the outside kitchens had been torn down and replaced by modern inside kitchens. And, many a little room or closet had been converted to a "water closet", as well.
Of course, I was born well after the advent of central air-conditioning, which changed many things about the South. One of theses things was Southern architecture. In the old days, Southern homes were designed with many features that provided some natural cooling. (I suppose that houses in the northern U.S. had some of these features, too, but I know more about Southern architecture and can only speak for that.) Porches and long central halls that could be opened to act as breezeways were just two of the old-fashioned ways of beating the heat -- or, at least trying to.

Fewer homes are built with these features today. I think that the 50's through the early 90's reached the peak of architecture designed without regard to our local climate.

There's no doubt about it, air-conditioning has made our long, humid summers more tolerable. I have spent enough time in non-air-conditioned summer camps and dorm rooms to know that I love my air-conditioning! But, I wonder if we might save on energy costs if more modern homes were built with many of the features that past architects used to keep a house more naturally cool. I do think there has been a revival of interest in this, which has been spurred by environmental concerns. Why not have the best of both worlds?

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

Has anyone seen something like this?

My father game me a beautiful old stained and polished lap desk that is made from a board. He has fond memories of his maternal grandmother writing letters on it, as well as knitting and tatting on it. He said that his grandmother never sat down without some type of work to do, even when company was present. He said she found many uses for that board. Of course, Dad's memories make the board very special to me, as well.

The board is broad and smooth, with rounded edges. It has an inward curve just where it would hit your waist, so that you can draw the board up to you. At the top back, there are inches marked off and painted -- much as you would see on a yardstick. Dad said that my grandmother had a chair that allowed her to use that board easily.

Dad's memories are starting to get a little cloudy, so I would like to find out as much about this kind of lap desk as possible while we can still talk about it and his memories of his grandmother.

Dad thinks the lap desk goes back several generations in the family before it came to his grandmother. Dad's maternal grandparents lived in Tennessee, where he was born and raised. But, they came to Tennessee from Missouri. Before Missouri, this branch of the family had lived in Pennsylvania. They were of German descent.

Has anyone seen such a lap desk?

My great-grandmother was still very vigorous when my father was young. She ran her household according to the energetic and orderly German methods of her fore-mothers.

However, she could not have been a young woman at the time my father remembers her. Her oldest daughter -- my father's mother -- was 42 when Dad was born. Dad was at least five when he formed his most vivid memories of his grandmother. So, she would have been old enough then to have had a 47 year old daughter by then. She died when my Dad was about in the fourth or fifth grade.

I know women used to use lap desks for correspondence. But, I didn't know that they used them to support handwork as well. Would the inches at the back have been for a school type purpose originally? Or, would they have been a way to measure stitches or lace?

I wonder if it was because of my grandmother's age that she used the lap desk to support her handwork, as well as for writing letters. Or, did other women use lap desks when doing handwork, as well? I'm not sure about the age thing, as I've never heard any indication that she allowed age to be an excuse to slow down. Neither did one of my mother's great-grandmothers, who raised twelve children, kept a plantation going while her husband was away at the Civil War, survived two unpleasant encounters with raiding soldiers, rode horses will into her seventies, and lived into the 1920's. And neither did one of her daughters, who married at 16 and went off from Tennessee with her new husband to tame part of Texas. After she was widowed, she lived by herself until she was 101. The family finally forced her to move in with relatives, and she lived on until she was 103. Ok, I'm feeling more than a little wimpy right now. :)

Anyhow, if you have ever seen a lap desk/board like the one I described and know something about this kind of lap desk, please let me know.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

Blog Design Woes

It's been brought to my attention that my posts may not appear on other people's computer screens the way they look from my end. I'm sure I've hit some button or another that I didn't intend to, and have created some mix-up in the blog-o-sphere!

So, I'll take a look at it and see what I can do to clean things up.

Thanks for bearing with me.

Elizabeth

Health for the Homemaker -- Energetic Attitude

A few days ago, I talked about specificity of physical training, or, in other words, training our bodies to be fit for our tasks as homemakers. There's one component of physical health that we didn't mention, and that is mental attitude.

This is too big a topic to discuss in one post. But, today, I do want to look at this from one particular angle. Next to her faith and her faithfulness, the one quality that jumps out at you about the worthy woman is her energetic attitude. In fact, the Hebrew word translated as worthy or excellent can loosely be spelled chayil in English, and it was originally a term for a well-prepared army of soldiers who were strong in body and valiant in heart. It also denotes someone who is fit for his or her tasks, because he or she combines physical vigor with moral excellence and a willing attitude.

Now, some of us are born with a stronger physical constitution. Some of us are born with a naturally strong temperament, or we are taught healthy ways of thinking from a young age.

Others of us are naturally more challenged in this area. Even if we do have physical or emotional infirmities that make it difficult for us to be at peak vigor, chances are we can -- with God's help -- improve our situation. At the very least, we can count our weaknesses as opportunities for God's power to be displayed in us.

At any rate, even worldly scientists are discovering the role that a sound attitude plays in our overall health. So, if we want to be fit for our tasks as homemakers, it makes sense to invest in our emotional attitude. Here are some things to consider:

1) Sometimes, we can let our minds wander when doing household tasks. If I'm not careful, my mind can wander to negative things. There is a time to recognize problems and face them head on. But, what I'm talking about is allowing random brooding or fretful thoughts to run through the back of my mind. I may be hardly aware that I'm letting my train of thought derail until I realize that I've talked myself into a sore mood for no good reason. So, I have to consciously decide to keep my mind focused on both the tasks at hand and on positive things. If you focus on the positive long enough, your mind will usually drift there by habit rather than to the negative. But, even after you have developed a positive habit, you can't take it for granted. You need to be aware if you start to drift down a negative chain of thought.
2) Take a few hours one day and think about why you do what you do. Guilt? Duty? A desire to be loved and appreciated? A romantic dream in your mind of how things should be? For the Lord? Do you really believe deep down in your heart that the work you do in the home is important, whether or not you have an outside job, as well? How do the activities of your days fit in with your ultimate priority of loving and serving the Lord? Have you and your husband talked over your priorities? Don't linger long on this; too much introspection isn't helpful. But, taking a day now and again to ponder these things can help you stay focused and positive.
3) A wise woman once told a boy who was reluctant to do his chores, "Son, most of this world's work is done by people who don't feel like doing it." Some days, you may not feel motivated. But, if you push through and get going, likely you will become more motivated as your mind and body become engaged in your chores.
4) Every job, including homemaking has tasks that are pleasant and tasks that are unpleasant -- or, at least we humans find them so. When doing something that is needed, but isn't your favorite thing to to, focus on the benefits. Think how nice it will be when the chore or whatever is accomplished. Everything that you do will benefit someone, or else you wouldn't be doing it.
5) Try to find at least fifteen to thirty minutes in every day -- in addition to your usual devotions -- to re-surrender your day. Read the Word. Have a glass of something to drink. Make a conscious decision to relax. Go outside on a pretty day and just let your mind and your muscles rest as you enjoy the sun on your shoulders. This extra time of relaxation may not be realistic for every day. But, work these rest periods into your life on a regular basis, and you'll feel better for it.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

FINISHING SCHOOL NEWS

Wasn't it fun to take our "Grand Tour" of Europe with Eva? She did a great job of giving us a taste of different cultures. Now, students of real finishing schools generally take their Grand Tour upon graduating. But, we haven't quite graduated yet.

In fact, we have a delightful class coming up this week. Sherry is going to lead us in a handwork project or two. She has graciously volunteered to teach us ribbon embroidery. Note, this is a bit different than cotton embroidery. So, Sherry will guide us every step of the way. You can choose to make something to embroider or buy something and add the embroidery as a decorative feature

In the nineteenth century and before, every educated woman could do a little decorative handwork. This was often in addition to sewing skills that were needed for survival. In Gone with the Wind, it's mentioned that Scarlett O'Hara's mother seldom sat down without her sewing box and a sewing assistant at hand. If just family members were gathered together, she worked on mending. If company was present, she worked on a purely decorative project.

In days past, girls usually learned the basics at their mother's knee. We've all seen lovely old samplers that girls did to practice their needlework skills. Those who had the privilege of receiving an education also took classes in different types of handwork in order to improve their skills.

So, whether you already do a lot of handwork, if you never have and want to learn, or if you just want to read about the subject, please take a look at Sherry's site. If you are like me, you may have a busy week lined up. If so, you read the posts every day and then follow the instructions at your leisure. Her posts will eventually be archived along with the rest of the Finishing School Posts, but it's so delightful to read the classes on each teacher's own blog.

The name of Sherry's site is Redbud's Lane.

The link for her first post is http://redbudslane.blogspot.com/2007/08/ladies-finishing-school-its-my-turn.html .

While you're at Sherry's, check out her photo of beautiful satin boudoir shoes with silk ribbon embroidery that were made in the 1920's!

You all know my lack of linking skills. I do have someone who has volunteered to teach me how, and I hope we'll be able to get together this week for me to learn it. In the meantime, if you have trouble linking to her site from mine, I'm sure Emma can post the link on her site.

See you at Sherry's for class!

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

The Physical Demands of Homemaking: Specificity of Training

When I first started keeping a home nearly three decades ago, doctors and exercise physiologists dismissed the physical tasks of keeping a house clean as being of no exercise value. Now, experts are saying that household tasks are good for both your mind and your body.

Throughout my lifetime, health experts have always agreed that exercise is necessary to support cardiovascular health, to strengthen muscles, to stretch muscles and to keep joints flexible, and to relieve stress. However, every few years seems to bring some new idea about just how much exercise is needed and what kind is best. Physicians or exercise experts can tell you the latest recommendations, and you can work those into your life as you see fit.

It's been my experience that in today's time of modern convenience, housework is not necessarily enough to keep our bodies in shape. Our great-great-grandmothers got more of a workout keeping a home than we do. Even something as simple as beating a cake by hand was more strenuous than using an electric mixer is today.

Even though housework may not be as much physical exercise as it used to be, it is still more demanding than most people give it credit for. Having experienced the physical demands of homemaking firsthand, I do have a great respect for how much strength and stamina are needed to take care of a house. If you garden or do yard work, as well, you exercise even more. And, as every mother knows, raising children requites both mental and physical strength.

I am glad that experts are finally waking up to the fact that household tasks really are of great benefit to the mind and body. As with everything, the woman who puts more energy into homemaking will reap more benefits than the one who is neglectful of her tasks.

Young women are often surprised at just how tired they become when they begin to keep their own home. Even if they helped in their parents' homes, they may be amazed when they step into the role as keeper and guardian of their own homes.

A vigorous twenty year old may think, "Why is it that I can run two miles and hardly break a sweat, yet I'm exhausted from scrubbing all of the floors in the house?"

I, myself, am hardly a vigorous twenty year old. But, I find that it's easier to walk for twenty minutes on the treadmill than it is to do twenty minutes of certain other activities.

One reason for this is called "specificity of training". When you use one set of muscles over and over, that set of muscles becomes stronger. When you perform a certain movement over and over, your brain and body become coordinated to perform that movement more efficiently and more accurately. However, if a different set of muscles are called upon, or if the brain must coordinate the muscles to do an unfamiliar task, you may feel clumsy or get sore and tired quickly.

Thus, a long distance runner may be able to easily cover a half-marathon, yet have a hard time getting a bike up a high hill. The person who has trained for the Tour de France may be able to bike up the hill in a flash, but may get sore hamstrings after running a couple of miles.

Therefore, the athlete does certain specific exercises to improve certain specific skills. Take a tennis player, for example. Maybe, she has a great forehand, but her backhand is weak. If so, she may go through the motion of the backhand over and over until it becomes second nature to her. Or, if she has poor hand/eye coordination, she may bounce the ball up and down on her racket until she gets a better feel for how to work it so the ball makes contact with the center of the racket.

In the same way, a basketball player may dribble a ball over and over and over again. Or, she may do layups every day. A skier will do a different set of exercises than the tennis or basketball player. A golfer will do still another.

So, it is with housework. You may be in generally good shape. But, you may find it hard to undertake a certain household task. If so, you will need to build up the strength and ability to perform the specific movements needed for doing that task. As you keep "training" day in and day out, you will develop the muscles and the brain patterns that will make the task easier. Don't worry if you become extra tired during the first few days you are stepping up or changing your housework routine. Unless you are trying to do more than is realistic, you'll quickly get to a point where you are able to handle your work.

You may need a different set of specific muscle and brain pattern skills at different times. For example, this year, you may paint all of your bedrooms. By the time you have finished, you will have become faster and neater at painting, and your arms will move easily in the patterns needed to cover a wall with color.

Next year, you may dig up a small space where you want to plant herbs. When you being, you may be barely able to move a few clods of dirt. By the end, you can shovel with ease.

The year after that, you may decide to knit gifts for Christmas. When you first take up knitting, your fingers may seem clumsy and your hands may tire easily. By the time Christmas rolls around, your fingers easily perform the stitches and your hands can knit and knit and knit without tiring.

So, we see that the most obvious way of achieving specificity of training for a household task is, as Nike says, "Just do it!". If your arms ache when you mop and sweep, for instance, then what is the answer? Mop and sweep and mop and sweep, not shirking from this duty whenver it comes up in your schedule. Gradually, your arms will get used to it. Don't overdo one session to the point that you cause yourself injury. Overdoing it too often, too much could make you you dread the thought of ever going near a mop again. But, do push yourself more and more over time to build the specific strength required for this specific task.

Secondly, you may want to add some extra exercise to your routine. It's a good idea to do something of a cardiovascular nature, provided you have your doctor's ok. Cardiovascular exercise provides the base of general stamina on which specificity of training is built. If your heart and blood vessels are strong and efficient, you will have more general energy to call on when you are training your muscles to do certain tasks. Your muscles may become sore as you work on specificity of training, but you will be less likely to run out of gas all together. You will be able to put in a good day's work without it fatiguing you to the point of exhaustion.

Walking is a great cardiovascular exercise for a keeper of the home. Or, take an aerobic class. If you have many children at home, put on some lively music and march about and hop indoors. Let the children join in. Do whatever you can to get your heart rate up.

Set a timer and do as much housework as fast as you can before the timer dings. Check your heart rate or the perceived exertion scale on this one, because this may or may not provide enough exercise for your heart. If you are a twenty year old marathon runner, this may not raise your heart rate at all. But, if you are my age and haven't been keeping up with your exercise routine as you might, you will find that this really does get your blood pumping. The added benefits are that using housework as exercise makes tasks seem more fun and you are also building specificity of muscular training even as you exercise your heart.

Exercising your arms and hands can also be important to a homemaker's health. There is a reason why Proverbs says the worthy woman's arms were strong for her tasks. Now, I've heard that verse used as almost a direct command for a woman to exercise. I think to make that case so emphatically from this verse is reading too much into it. I have an idea that the women of that day would likely have gotten their strength from all the work and walking needed to survive in that time, rather than from an exercise program as we think of it. Therefore, I suspect the verse is just one of the many phrases used in that section to describe a woman who is vigorous in mind and body and suited to her responsibilities.

But, do notice how many of those responsibilities did involve the use of her hands or her arms. Almost every verse mentions something that the worthy woman did with her arms or her hands. No wonder the image of strong arms is used!

Therefore, I do think we can indirectly glean from this verse that taking care of our upper limbs will help us in our work. Today, we still find that most of our home keeping activities involve our hands and arms. We need fine motor skills in our fingers and strength in our upper limbs in order to carry out our tasks. Perhaps, like the women of old, we will develop enough upper body strength simply by going through our daily activities. But, if we do find our upper body strength is not sufficient, we can add strength exercises for the arms, wrists, and hands to help us. This may become even more important as we age, when we may also need to add specific exercises to combat arthritis pain in these areas.

As I've learned the hard way, we also do well -- so far as we are able -- to avoid injuring these areas, as such injuries can really slow you down. Another thing to remember is this: Because much of our work is done with our upper body and we look downward to do many of our tasks, it's easy to get in the habit of looking down even when it's not necessary. Or, even if we don't look down too much, we may still drop our head forward, out of alignment with good posture. This is not only unsightly, but, more importantly, it is also harmful to the upper body and can cause great pain in the neck and shoulders.

Stretching the body also helps the homemaker, particularly those of us who have passed the age of thirty or thirty-five. Many homemaking tasks require that we be fairly limber in order to perform them well. Also, staying flexible can help us avoid the aches, pains, and stiffness that come with aging. Maintaining our limberness from our youth onward will help us continue to keep our home even into our golden years.

Also, some vigorous housework followed by gentle stretching can be very relaxing. Releasing tension in this way can help us to be of good cheer and can support our overall health.

Of course, a woman will benefit if she makes an effort to keep all of her physical training built up over a lifetime, allowing for the inevitable slowing down process of aging. Oftentimes, however, a woman may have the stamina for many specific tasks only to lose it for a time. Perhaps, she is weaker after recovering from childbirth or illness. Or, maybe, some unsual life situation kept her from her regular tasks for a time. Or, maybe, her energetic young grandchildren are coming to stay with her for a few days, and it's been a long time since she carried and dressed and played childhood games with her own children. Or, she may simply have allowed herself to get out of shape.

If you find that you have lost either general or specific strength, don't despair. Unless you are facing a permanent health challenge, you can build your strength back again. I'm finding that I'm having to push myself now, as I have allowed myself to get out of shape for various reasons.

If you do tire easily from housework, set a timer for a certain period. Then, take a timed break before you return to your tasks again. Increase the length of the work periods until you can do more without collapsing in fatigue. You don't need to eliminate the breaks entirely. You will probably always benefit from taking at least a five minute break every hour or so. But, increase the proportion of work to rest until you are able to maintain more stamina and vigor.

Fortunately, homemaking exercises a wide variety of muscles and includes a wide variety of movements. You stretch to put something on a high shelf. You bend to put something into a low cabinet. You bear weight with your arms as you lift a toddler. So, as you develop specificity of training for each task of homemaking, these specific bits of training will add up to a more fit whole. You will end up benefiting a good deal of your body.

As with everything, there is a balance here. Some projects do become wearying to the body and mind if performed too long in one session. Some can cause eyestrain. Some can cause injuries from overly-repetitive motion, which is similar to a tennis player suffering from "tennis elbow".
Generally -- but not always -- these activities are the more sedentary ones we do, such as sewing, quilting, knitting, or working at the computer. Sometimes, these activities are also the ones that are the ones we find to be the most fun, and we may overdo them without even realizing how much time has gone by. How many of us have sewed something wih great relish, only to realize when we stand up that we are sore from sitting in one position.

If you're like I am, and you get your mind set on finishing a task in one setting, you may have to remind yourself to take frequent breaks. You may also have to remind yourself to use good body posture as you perform these tasks. For example, I work part-time from home as a freelance writer. I do have some problems with my neck that can affect my upper back and arms. If I get lost in writing and forget to stretch from time to time, I feel more pain from my neck injury. If I allow myself to sit or to hold my shoulders in an unnatural position as I work, the pain is all the greater. But, if I am mindful of both time and posture, I can do this work without creating pain.

One of the benefits of keeping a home is that you can set your own schedule for how you do it. If you give it some thought, you can rotate your tasks around so that you do not overtax one set of muscles to the point that you injure them. For example, if you have a home business which you run from your computer, work at it for an hour or so. Then, get up and clean your kitchen. Then go back to your computer, and, then, to a household task, and so forth. If you are trying to build up your stamina in the garden, but you have done enough for the day, cook something for dinner. Find something to do that uses a different set of muscles than the ones that are tired and achy. The key is to do an activity long enough each day to become coordinated and strong for the task, but to also provide some variety in your daily schedule.

This also helps you from building one muscle at the expense of another. Remember that muscles often work in pairs. Athletes who develop a strong muscle to perform a certain movement exercise the opposing muscle to keep a healthy balance. For example, if a weight lifter works on the biceps, he or she will also work on the triceps.

Unless we work out with weights or play a sport at a competitive level, we don't have to worry about the science behind this. We just need to include many different activities in our weekly schedules. What homemaker has trouble with that? Additionally, if we do exercise, we can remember to work opposing muscle groups. And, from time to time, we can take stock to see if we show any signs of muscle imbalance in the most common trouble spots: chest/back, lower back/stomach, quadriceps, hamstrings, shins/calves, and biceps/triceps.

The goal of specificity of training is to build strength so that you are not abnormally fatigued or easily made sore by your work. You will never, however, get to the point that you don't ever get tired from your activities around the home and yard.

In fact, a little healthy fatigue at the end of the day can actually be a good thing. People who physically tire their muscles through work sleep better than those whose work and lifestyle are sedentary. They also maintain a healthier balance between the chemicals that the body produces to motivate action and the chemicals the body uses to bring about relaxation.

Physical fatigue is generally less draining in the long run than is mental fatigue. Many people with sedentary lives become "brain tired", while their muscles remain "keyed up". When faced with demands of work, our bodies produce chemicals to give us the energy to move our limbs. Yet, sedentary work doesn't provide an outlet for these chemicals. In addition, sedentary work doesn't provide the exercise that the body needs. This can make a person feel fatigued, jittery, restless, and otherwise out of sorts.

So, if you do do sedentary work, either with a home business or because you work an outside job in addition to keeping your home, balance your sedentary times with times of movement. You may think you are too tired to do any house work after sitting at a desk for hours on end. But, if you make yourself start, you will probably find that your body and mind actually feel tons better. Just be sure to allow a half hour to unwind from both the physical and mental labor of yoru day before you go to sleep. (Ok, I do admit that allowing for winding down time is easier for me to preach than to practice.)

It used to be that women seldom suffered heart disease and that they lived much longer than men do. Since women have entered the "work force" in equal numbers to men, this picture is changing. Though women do still live somewhat longer on average than men do, more and more are suffering heart disease at earlier ages. A number of theories have been proposed as to why women's health is suffering these days, and the particular types of stress of the "workplace" is one of the more likely ones. But, I also wonder if women don't suffer more now because they are adopting the sedentary work style of men, rather than moving about and exercising in the home and yard. I just don't think that the human body was designed to sit all day. (I have work force and workplace in quotes. People use those words to mean corporate settings. But, a farm or a home is a workplace, too.)

At any rate, if you do work a sedentary job in addition to keeping your home, you must balance it with healthful movement. So, while you may need help to get your houswork done, be thankful that you do have housework to do. It could be an important key to your health.

In the grand scheme of things, Paul tells us that bodily exercise is of little importance when compared to training in godliness. So, it's good to surrender our goals to the Lord as we set out to develop specificity of training, stamina, coordination, and strength. We want to be good stewards of our bodies so that we can be strong for our tasks. We also don't want to suffer needlessly through our own sin or neglect. And, in today's world, we need to keep moving to counter the unnaturally sedentary lifestyles of modern life.

But, above all, we must act in dependence and trust, as well as with the disposition to be content with the Lord's will for our health -- whatever that may be.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

Spring Cleaning

Here's an old poem that I found called "Spring Cleaning". I don't know when it was written, but it appeared in an anthology of quotes and poems that was published in 1909.

Since those of us who blog about homemaking can relate to the freshness of a house that has just been through a thorough spring cleaning, I thought we'd all enjoy the imagery. One thought though: This poem speaks to cleaning out the dirt and dust of our hearts and letting the sunshine in. Our Lord said that our hearts must not only be swept clean, but also must be filled with the Holy Spirit. To have the Lord dwell in the heart is the heart's true joy. Matthew 12:43-45, John 14:23, Matthew 26:28.

The Spring Cleaning

Now open up the windows of the heart,
And let the sunshine penetrate the gloom;
Clear out the fears and doubts that grimly start
Like ghosts within the mind's dim haunted room.

Brush out the cobwebs that your malice wrought,
And sweep away the grudges that you bear;
Replace each petty and ungracious thought
With one that is forgiving, true, and fair.

And when the task if finished, you will find
That happiness is destined to remain
Within the sunlit rooms of heart and min,
And know your work has not been done in vain.

Reynale Smith Pickering

Here are a few quotes from a book written in 1849 about the heart of being polite. The name of the book is the Lady's Vase. I thought these quotes fit in nicely with our Finishing School theme.

1) "Honor all men," says the apostle. This is the spring of good manners; it strikes at the very root of selfishness: it is the principle by which we render to all ranks and ages their due. A respect for your fellow-beings—a reverence for them as God's creatures and our brethren—will inspire that delicate regard for their rights and feelings, of which good manners is the sign.

2) If you have truth—not the truth of policy, but religious truth—your manners will be sincere. They will have earnestness, simplicity, and frankness—the best qualities of manners. They will be free from assumption, pretense, affectation, flattery, and obsequiousness, which are all incompatible with sincerity. If you have sincerity, you will choose to appear no other, nor better, than you are—to dwell in a true light.

3) Every thing really valuable is sure to be counterfeited. This applies not only to money, medicine, religion, and virtue, but even to politeness. We see in society the truly polite and the falsely polite; and, although all cannot explain, all can feel the difference. While we respect the one, we despise the other. Men hate to be cheated. An attempt to deceive us, is an insult to our understandings and an affront to our morals. The pretender to politeness is a cheat. He tries to palm off the base for the genuine; and, although he may deceive the vulgar, he cannot overreach the cultivated. ... True politeness is the smoothness of a refined mind and the tact of a kind heart.

4) Vanity, a love of display, an overweening desire to be admired, are great obstacles to self-possession; whereas, a well-disciplined and well-balanced character will generally lead to composure and self-command. In a very elegant assemblage, in a large drawing-room in a Southern city, I saw a young lady walk quietly and easily across the apartment to speak to a friend, who said to her: "I wanted very much to get to you, but I had not the courage to cross the room. How could you do it?—all alone, too, and with so many persons looking at you!" "I did not think of any body's looking at me," was the reply; and in that lay the secret of her self-possession. Very modest people believe themselves to be of too little consequence to be observed; but conceited ones, think every body must be looking at them. Inexperienced girls, who are not wanting in modesty, are apt to dread going into a crowded room, from an idea that every eye will be turned upon them; but after a while they find that nobody cares to look at them, and that the greater the crowd, the less they are observed.

Your enjoyment of a party depends far less on what you find there, than on what you carry with you. The vain, the ambitious, the designing, will be full of anxiety when they go, and of disappointment when they return. A short triumph will be followed by a deep mortification, and the selfishness of their aims defeats itself. If you go to see and to hear, and to make the best of whatever occurs, with a disposition to admire all that is beautiful, and to sympathize in the pleasures of others, you can hardly fail to spend the time pleasantly. The less you think of yourself and your claims to attention, the better. If you are much attended to, receive it modestly, and consider it as a happy accident; if you are little noticed, use your leisure in observing others.

5) If your mind is alive to the wishes and claims of others, you will easily perceive when it is a virtue to talk and when to be silent. It is undue pre-occupation with self which blinds people, and prevents their seeing what the occasion requires.

You can find The Lady's Vase online at Project Gutenburg. I found many very thought-provoking gems in this little book. But, there were other parts that I either didn't find to be very sound or didn't find to be very useful. So, please be aware that while I do think many of you would enjoy reading it, I do have some reservations about it. Use your own judgment.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

Finishing School News:

Someone has graciously offered to teach me how to do links correctly, so I should be learning soon. That will help our Finishing School communication to go more smoothly.

We only have a few weeks left in our "curriculum", but some exciting topics are still to come.

In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying the Virtual Grand Tour of Europe over at Love, Life, and Laundry.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

Finishing School News!

This week we have a special treat. Some of you may read Eva's blog, "Life, Love, and Laundry." She now lives in the U.S., but originally hailed from Belgium. She's going to take us on a Grand Tour of Europe. (Remember, a young lady who attended a finishing school in the nineteenth century likely finished by taking a real life Grand Tour. Since we can't all go do that, Eva's going to take us on a virtual tour). Eva will concentrate on the positive things we can learn from the women and culture of each country. We are very honored that she is going to share her insights with us.

So grab your virtual passports, and let's go.

The link to Eva's site is http://www.faerieeva.vox.com Sometimes, people have trouble linking through to another site from mine. If you do have trouble, visit Emma's blog, Charming the Birds from the Trees. She already has a link to Eva's site in her side bar. And, if you have a tip for how I can make the links work better, please let me know.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

Table Settings

Here's a pretty setting for a bridal table. This was taken from a decades old pamphlet, but it would still be lovely today.

In one sense, the principles of the well-set table haven't changed in at least seventy years. It's good to understand the rationale behind these rules, because they are based on time-tested logic. When followed, they add to the convenience and comfort of a meal. Also, because they are familiar, they make family and guests feel at ease.

There are time-tested reccomendations for how to set a table for a breakfast, a lunch, a dinner, a buffet, a tea, a shower, a brunch, a picnic, etc. Far from being restrictive, these methods help you organize things so that your meal or event flows smoothly. Also, they allow a surprising amount of leeway for creativity. Additionally, these time-proven methods work as well for ultra-modern table furnishings as they do for more traditional looking tables, linens, and dishes.

On the other hand, people do feel freer today to experiment with new looks and new ways of doing things. If you want to try your hand at coming up with something fresh and striking, go for it! However, chances are your experiments will be more successful if you take the time to study traditional table settings, first. Don't just memorize the rules, although you will want to know them. Learn the thinking behind the rules. Then, consider seriously the convenience and comfort of the people who will be dining at your table -- both family and guests. You don't want to come up with a magnificent looking creation that forces diners to crane their necks to look at each other or that makes them feel crammed and awkward.

What is the old saying, "You have to know the rules to break the rules well?" If you want to experiment, simply look for new ways to accomplish the same things that the old rules accomplished. Apply some thoughtfulness and logic to your fresh, free-spirited design, and you're sure to come up with a winner.

For examples of how to set a table for various occasions, visit www.winn-dixie.com, and read the articles about table settings. Study the diagrams and think about why they are set up as they are.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

HELP, My table is small...

Do you live in an apartment with a tiny eating area and room for only a small, round table? Are you setting up housekeeping with only a card table for your dining surface? If so, you can find creative ways to set a lovely table and even to serve several guests in your home. The following are some suggestions:

1) Hunt garage sales, thrift stores, and relatives' attics to find a small table -- preferably one that folds or rolls away -- that you can use as a sideboard. You might luck upon a lovely tea cart, but even a microwave cart will do. Place your serving dishes and pitchers for re-filling glasses on this cart or table. On your eating table, set out only the dishes and utensils that each person will need. Consider leaving off the bread plate and the salad plate and having only the dinner plate. By using a "sideboard" to hold extra things needed for the meal, you may find that you will even have room on the eating table for a small centerpiece and possibly a few candlesticks as well. When the meal is over, put up the food and the pitchers, and use the cart to roll away dirty dishes.
2) Make a dessert that can be placed on individual dessert plates ahead of time. When it comes time for dessert, whisk the dirty dishes to a sink of soapy water and pull out the dessert. You could also put salad into individual bowls or salad plates ahead of time. If you are having company, ask one of the women ahead of time if she will help you manage the courses.
3) Serve buffet style. Set up chairs in your living room for guests. Push your small eating table back against the wall. Place the centerpiece and candles toward the center back of the table and arrange the serving dishes and eating dishes and utensils in a pretty, convenient arrangement moving forward and out from there. Or, if you have a kitchen island, make that the center of your buffet. Set chairs around for your guests, If you and your friends are young, some may not even mind sitting on the floor. You can even throw down large cushions or pillows for this purpose. Remember, if your guests will be sitting in chairs or on the floor, they won't be able to balance a whole lot. And, they won't be able to negotiate flimsy plates. If you are serving a casual buffet and you are using paper goods, make sure that the plates are sturdy enough for guests to manage in their laps.
4) Have baked potato suppers, chili suppers, ice cream suppers, make your own pizza parties, etc. Or, have a party in which you serve heavy hor d'oeuvres rather than a traditional sit down meal. In the summer, have a cook-out. In other words, do something that is simple and in which the guests help with the preparation. The only drawback is that if your guests must sit in chairs without a table or on the floor, some of these foods can be pretty messy. So, think carefully about how your guests will manage beforehand. If you can find some inexpensive TV trays at a garage sale or thrift shop, these can go along way towards helping guests eat comfortably. Two people can even share a table by placing their drinks on it, while holding their plates in their lap. Another idea is to forget serving a dinner and invite people for dessert instead. Most people can manage a dessert plate and a beverage fairly easily. (Don't let pets and toddlers roam freely over a floor on which people may have set beverages.)
5) Set up a card table in addition to your usual eating table. Place a pretty cloth over it. A card table will hold four more guests. So, if you can seat four at your regular table, you can host eight simply by setting up a card table. Make sure that the two tables are far enough apart that people from each table will not bump into those from the other table. If you must put the extra four guests in a completely separate room, bring everyone together for coffee and dessert. Have people circle up their chairs while eating dessert.

Note: The solutions in which guests must eat in chairs without a table or on the floor are not "ideal". But, I've hosted such parties and have attended many, as well. If you can manage to make your guests feel comfortable in these settings, go for it! If you wait until you have the ideal table or the ideal eating space to show hospitality, you'll miss out on a lot of fun.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth

Setting the Table -- The Covering

For ultra-formal meals, a table covering is not used. Most of us will never serve a meal in our home that is at that level of formality.

So, for most of us, here are the things to consider regarding table coverings:

1) The purpose of a table cloth is to protect the table, to protect dishes, to keep down the noise of clattering utensils, and to make the table look pretty. If you can afford it, try to have one beautiful white or ecru cloth for a more "formal" or traditional meal, a washable colored damask or some other type of cloth that can be used for a variety of occasions, and a very casual and no-iron cloth for every day family meals. When acquiring linens, take into consideration the following: Do I have both a dining room table and a kitchen table? Do I have a picnic table or do we take frequent picnics away from home? What shape are my tables? Do I like dainty or solid looking dishes and glasses? If the cloth is a print, will it look too busy when I set it with my dishes? (White and solid color dishes can take more distinctive tablecloths; patterned dishes need something of the equivalent level of dressiness as the dishes, but that won't compete with the dshes, themselves.) What shape are my tables?
2) There are two situations (other than the highly formal meal above) in which you may want to let more of the wood of the table show through: 1) Your table has an unsually beautiful wood surface and 2) your table is a rustic looking table with an interesting wood or other surface. Or, you may not particularly want to show off the wood of your table, but you may simply not like the bother of keeping up with cloths. (If you think that tablecloths are harder to deal with than place mats, you may be surprised to find that this is not always the case. A set of must-iron place mats take more work than one of today's little or no ironing required tablecloths.) If you really don't want to use tablecloths, will find that place mats are suitable for most meals. Still, you will want to have one pretty cloth that can be used when you want to set your prettiest table.
3) There are many lovely table cloths today that require little or no ironing. There's nothing like a freshly ironed cloth, but in today's busy world, these no-iron cloths can be handy. If you have an everyday one, you can throw it in the washer and dryer and then put it right back on the table again.
4) A properly folded tablecloth should have only one crease that runs directly down the center. When you are either ironing a cloth or folding it to be put away, take this into consideration. If you have no other choice but to fold it so that it leaves more than one crease, aim for a crisp checkerboard look. Or, you can take out the extra creases with an iron. See #3 and use a wash and dry -- no iron -- tablecloth for every day.
5) If your tablecloth is a bit "wrinkly", run it through the fluff cycle of your dryer along with a damp cloth.
6) In general, white damask cloths are the most formal and traditional and are reserved for dinner.
7) Colored damasks are less formal and can be used for lunch or dinner.
8) Lace or cutwork tablecloths are generally reserved for dinner, a tea, or a nice luncheon.
9) Print cloths, plain white or colored cloths, and cloths from homey type materials suit most meals.
10) To truly protect your table, you may find that you must use padding underneath your tablecloths. This is particularly true of a dining room type table. Most kitchen type tables do fine as long as you place some sort of trivet underneath any hot or sweating food dishes. You can buy commercial table pads that have a foam back and a vinyl top. You can also find specially treated and padded vinyl cloth that is made to be cut to the shape of your table and used underneath a cloth. A layer of felt is another way to protect a table's surface. Or, you may find some other creative way to pad your table underneath your cloth. Whatever you do, don't leave the padding on the table overnight or longer. Moisture can get underneath the padding and damage the finish on your table -- which is the very thing that the padding is there to prevent. Table padding is meant to stay on your table only a short time.
11) What size should your tablecloth be? Preferably, a cloth will extend six to eight inches past the edge of the table for breakfast and lunch. The dinner cloth should extend eight to twelve inches past the edge. At more formal dinners, the cloth hangs twelve to eighteen inches. If you inherit a beautiful cloth that doesn't quite fit your table, use your judgment. If it looks ok, I wouldn't worry about it being exactly according to this rule of thumb.
12) You may be surprised at the lovely table linens you can find at garage sales. Keep your eyes open for something that can help you fill in the gaps with regard to the linens you need for your family and guests. On the other hand, too many cloths can be burdensome to the home keeper. No matter how sentimental you are about the twenty tablecloths that Aunt Bertha willed to you, if they are crowding your drawers and closets, you will probably want to give away a few.

Enjoy!
Elizabeth